Prince Harry

Poor Prince Harry. He's had a lot of humiliation lately what with that nude scandal. And now his grandmother, who happens to be, you know, the Queen of England, is piling it on! C'mon, Liz. The boy is off to war, dontcha know! Give him a break, will ya?! But rumor has it that ol' Elizabeth is furious that an au naturel Harry partied it up in Vegas. And the Queen can't exactly tell Harry to go to his room (or castle), so she's supposedly demanding he take a DNA test to prove he's a blood monarch. Rumors have persisted for years that Harry wasn't conceived with Charles' royal sperm but with the baby maker of a commoner! Well, maybe it's true. What of it?

According to The National Enquirer (yeah, I know, but they got that whole John Edwards' love child thing right!), the Queen is livid with Harry's wild ways and she's insisting on a DNA test. For years there have been whispers (well, not whispers really, more like bellowing) that Harry isn't the offspring of Charles, but rather the result of an affair between Princess Diana and cavalry officer James Hewitt.

These rumors won't go away despite James saying he met Diana only after Harry's birth, mostly because Harry and James are both ginger. And they look a bit alike. In some photos. Sometimes.

But here's the real question, folks. Does anyone really give a pint of ale if Harry is Charles' kid or not? No one likes Charles. Not even the Queen. Notice how she still won't step down to let her son rule? Everyone knows she'd prefer the crown go straight to William.

Neither DNA nor Naked Vegas Partayyy will stop Harry from being Diana's son ... and just as Diana was the People's Princess, so Harry is the People's Prince. Just look at all those subjects and non-subjects willing to get naked in solidarity with him. Think they'd do that for Charles? Pishaw!

Our hearts (and some other parts) are with Harry as he heads to Afghanistan. Come back safely so you can party some more, my ginger prince.

Should it matter if Harry is Charles' kid?


Image via Getty