Barack Obama’s Mythical DNC Speech Makes Me Want a Unicorn

Politics & Views 75

obama dnc speechPresident Barack Obama accepted his party’s nomination to run for reelection at the Democratic National Convention. Then he promised America pet unicorns, leprechaun servants, and monkey butlers, if only we please (please!) vote for him again.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain while 23 million people are out of work, the national debt has passed $16 trillion, and one in seven Americans are on food stamps. 

Okay, maybe Obama didn’t promise us mythical creatures to do our bidding, but he sure as heck offered up quite a few myths. Like free heath care for everyone! Free college for everyone! No more oppression for women! No jobs being shipped overseas! Happy happy joy joy!

The Free Health Care Myth
The truth is that health care is neither a right nor a privilege; it’s a service. I know it’s shocking, but doctors don’t want to work for free any more than anyone else. What if we all expected our mechanics to work for free? This is the real world, and part of living here is paying for things that we receive.

The Free College Myth
Same problem as with health care: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. If you receive a good or service (like medical care or a college education), someone provided it to you. If you didn’t pay for it, someone else did. There’s only so much a doctor or a professor can do for free. They have their own bills to pay. I’ll say it again, because it can’t be said enough: If you didn’t pay for it, someone else did.

The Oppressed Women Myth
I have never, ever, not even once, been denied access to health care because I’m a woman. Since I’ve started using it a decade ago, birth control has never been banned. So long as I’ve been willing to pay my bills, I’ve been seen by whatever doctor I wanted to see. Silly doctors, wanting to be paid. It’s not like we have programs that allow poor people to receive health care ... oh wait, Medicaid. Never mind.

But -- glass ceiling! Women deserve equal pay! Newsflash: If women deserve equal pay to men, they’ll see their paychecks cut. Because when all things equal are considered, it’s actually women that make more than men. Unless they work for Barack Obama, because he pays his female staffers 18 percent less than their male counterparts.

The Overseas Jobs Myth
The president referenced several times that Mitt Romney sent jobs overseas, rather than employ Americans on U.S. soil. Then he said Mitt had no foreign policy experience, which made me giggle, because with all the jobs he’s supposedly sent overseas, you’d think he’d be a foreign policy expert.

Obama also failed to mention that he’s sent more jobs overseas than Romney ever has. But math is hard, so maybe Obama decided to give himself an incomplete. It’s happened before.

The Bottom Line
Obama delivered a speech full of platitudes and nice ideas. If he can get my unicorn to me by November 6, I might even consider voting for him.


Image via Alex Wong/Getty

2012 election, barack obama, democratic national convention


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turna... turnandburn04

never heard of the "Hot Air" website, but thanks for telling me where i get my facts, its reassuring to know that you are what this country is turning into (uh oh). and @cafesmart, really, i don't know who your friend is but i am not her, so please don't assume you know me, and because you know one republican that we are all the same and ready to flee to canada to ride on their coat tails. No thank you, i will stay right here in this country that is slowly dying, and try to revive it. i will also continue to work hard and not let anyone "steal" my hard work as you so eloquently put.

turna... turnandburn04

Thank god for voter id laws, i think you should be a citizen to vote, it is a shocking revelation i know!  You should be who you say you are, plain and simple, no id, no vote, and yes everyone can get some form of id as a citizen, so please spare me the "my grandma's friend can't stories". wake up people, if the prez was so sure of what he is doing then why all the mudslinging, he should have it easy, if he actually did anything worthwhile that didn't depend on getting votes, maybe this would be a very different discussion.

wamom223 wamom223

I am disgusted the race card was trotted out again in the comments.  Its the left that is racist, they are the ones making assumptions about politics and race.  I know a lot of black conservatives.  I know a lot black independents that voted for Obama that wont this time.  Again it is ignorant to assume a large group of people want to be represented by one voice.  Although they like to teach us in school that there was one voice for the civil rights movement, there wasn't.  Some people wanted to try to move forward through peace (like MLKJR) and some wanted to try for change through violence.  They both wanted to get to the same place but wanted to get there different ways.  Please debate through your ideas.  Every time you throw the word racist out there for no good reason you are lessening what it means and it is still a real problem.  Are there people out there that don't like the president because he's black?  Of course, but that doesn't represent everyone.  

nonmember avatar Guest

@AnotherGuest, "you HAVE heard of all the VoterID laws that Republicans are trying to push (including the one that passed in my state, PA), even though majority/prevailing research shows there have only been, oh, 10 cases of fraud and the overwhelming conclusion is that its not even remotely an issue? "

Utterly false. A democrat in Arkansas was CONVICTED of vote fraud just a day or two ago, there was a case earlier this year in NY , and there was a case last year in West VA. MN in '08? WA in '06? Not "well, I don't know anything about the topic, so it must not be an issue" but cases that were proven in courts and resulted in convictions.

Try getting your news from other places besides just John Stewart.

The OWEbama administration was forced by court order to stop illegally denying Florida elections officials from accessing federal databases and they found THOUSANDS of invalid voter registrations on the rolls.

Earlier this year we had the re-branded ACORN people sending voter registration forms to DOGS. Remember the ACORN registration fraud fiasco in the last election? Remember what sitting president had previously personally trained some of those groups in his "community organizer" days? Mmmhmm.

nonmember avatar Guest


Interestingly, that one holds back those who traditionally vote Democrat, so of course THAT is fair game.

Why is it that all of the ballots that involve "funny business" are "democrat" votes?

"Also, does the term "hanging chad" ring any bells for you? Remember 2000? Mmmhmm.

LOL! Yes, I remember it and still get a chuckle from it. The time when hundreds of democrats took to the street loudly proclaiming that the only reason the democrat candidate lost is because the people who wanted him to win were too stupid to fill out their ballots!

I also remember the democrats frantically counting, recounting re-recounting, re-re-recounting, inventing new "counting standards" in a desperate attempt to come up with a different result.

I also remember teams of democrat lawyers sent to FL to attempt to get as many military ballots invalidated as possible.

Just curious, if I were to suggest that we do that "dip your finger in ink thing like they do in some countries, to prevent democrat "bus circuit" voting, do you think you would be programmed to bleat that that made me a "racist", "sexist", or "homo-phoebe"?

nonmember avatar Guest

racist [rey-sist]


1. a person who is winning an argument with a liberal.

verb (used with object)

2. to acknowledge as true; admit: He finally conceded that she was right.

3. to acknowledge (an opponent's victory, score, etc.)

fleur... fleurdelys3110

@Sickofmorons. Beating the horse? I think that was the second time i mentioned that ever, so I would hardly call that beating the horse. Secondly, I will stop bringing it up as soon as people REMEMBER WHAT A LIAR Obama is.

wamom223 wamom223

@another guest- So I guess you don't know about the whole ACORN thing or the black panthers standing out side a voting place refusing to let whites in.  Give me a break.  There is voter fraud, and by the way in your state they offered people free rides to go get a free state issued picture ID so how is that preventing anyone from voting?  Why wouldn't you have one? You need picture ID to cash checks, get a job, ride an airplane and you are suppose to have one on your person at all times so that if something happens to you you could be identified. 

nonmember avatar Susan

I heard nothing about the free for all she heard, I heard that we are in this together and I like that so much more that every man for himself.
Jenny is so nasty and inflamatory while defending the obstuctionist right who have admitted thier priority has been to keep Obama to a single term rather than to help the citizens of the country that they purport to love. We are just collateral damage in the war the rich is waging against the middle class. And don't think for a minute those social issues they talk about really matter to them. They are just using them to get you to vote against your own economical best interest. There are more of us middle class than ultra rich and they know it. They have no morals but thier bottom line..profit. Thier real God is money and to them the end justifies the means. If you side with them you are being used as a pawn.
From Alternet's "How the Right-Wing Brain Works..."
"If you’re a liberal or a progressive these days, you could be forgiven for being baffled and frustrated by conservatives. Their views and actions seem completely alien to us—or worse. From cheering at executions, to wanting to “throw up” over church-state separation, to seeking to “drown” government “in the bathtub”.." "..Let’s face it: Conservatives have insulted, defiled, and disobeyed the secular, rational, and Enlightenment legacy of the people who founded this country.."

nonmember avatar Susan

PS.. This is a very nasty and uninformed place.

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