Barack Obama’s Mythical DNC Speech Makes Me Want a Unicorn

Politics & Views 75

obama dnc speechPresident Barack Obama accepted his party’s nomination to run for reelection at the Democratic National Convention. Then he promised America pet unicorns, leprechaun servants, and monkey butlers, if only we please (please!) vote for him again.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain while 23 million people are out of work, the national debt has passed $16 trillion, and one in seven Americans are on food stamps. 

Okay, maybe Obama didn’t promise us mythical creatures to do our bidding, but he sure as heck offered up quite a few myths. Like free heath care for everyone! Free college for everyone! No more oppression for women! No jobs being shipped overseas! Happy happy joy joy!

The Free Health Care Myth
The truth is that health care is neither a right nor a privilege; it’s a service. I know it’s shocking, but doctors don’t want to work for free any more than anyone else. What if we all expected our mechanics to work for free? This is the real world, and part of living here is paying for things that we receive.

The Free College Myth
Same problem as with health care: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. If you receive a good or service (like medical care or a college education), someone provided it to you. If you didn’t pay for it, someone else did. There’s only so much a doctor or a professor can do for free. They have their own bills to pay. I’ll say it again, because it can’t be said enough: If you didn’t pay for it, someone else did.

The Oppressed Women Myth
I have never, ever, not even once, been denied access to health care because I’m a woman. Since I’ve started using it a decade ago, birth control has never been banned. So long as I’ve been willing to pay my bills, I’ve been seen by whatever doctor I wanted to see. Silly doctors, wanting to be paid. It’s not like we have programs that allow poor people to receive health care ... oh wait, Medicaid. Never mind.

But -- glass ceiling! Women deserve equal pay! Newsflash: If women deserve equal pay to men, they’ll see their paychecks cut. Because when all things equal are considered, it’s actually women that make more than men. Unless they work for Barack Obama, because he pays his female staffers 18 percent less than their male counterparts.

The Overseas Jobs Myth
The president referenced several times that Mitt Romney sent jobs overseas, rather than employ Americans on U.S. soil. Then he said Mitt had no foreign policy experience, which made me giggle, because with all the jobs he’s supposedly sent overseas, you’d think he’d be a foreign policy expert.

Obama also failed to mention that he’s sent more jobs overseas than Romney ever has. But math is hard, so maybe Obama decided to give himself an incomplete. It’s happened before.

The Bottom Line
Obama delivered a speech full of platitudes and nice ideas. If he can get my unicorn to me by November 6, I might even consider voting for him.


Image via Alex Wong/Getty

2012 election, barack obama, democratic national convention


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar Rocin

@Notanostrich: Everybody I know hates racism, Ostrich.
We voted Obama in to inspire our youth; he has done a very poor job and needs to go. That doesn't make us racist. It's a very nasty and unfair accusation, (probably made out of desperation.)

Eden Bennett

can you please tell me where you got your numbers that women make more than men?

fleur... fleurdelys3110

Guest -- very clever. The only thing I will say here is that in an interview with Matt Lauer in Februrary 2009, Obama openly said that if he did not fix the economy in 3 years, there should a "one term proposition" for his presidency. How convenient that Democrats and even Obama himself seem to have forgotten that. Here's a link to the article that quotes the interview. It's from Slate, which is a notoriously liberal media outlet. You know when even the liberal media starts telling the truth, there is something seriously wrong happening.

turna... turnandburn04

yeah i got it, you and yours work your butts off to support your family and pay your bills and your taxes, etc... but there are so many that are just too lazy (not sick, or dying, or unable) but flatout lazy or are not here legally to begin with, and Obama wants us to put up or shut up for all of these people, i don't think so!!! i work very hard to provide for my family not everyone else's too.So sorry to bring this up but the money i work so hard for will not go to your "reproductive rights" or your need to feel like you have helped the whole world to make your self feel better.

Another point i would love to hear how all of you feel about our president putting a court order in place to keep our military that are oversees from voting by absentee ballot up until the day of the election, is he scared? maybe because the military vote for him has dropped over 15% and continues to drop daily, there's some facts for you!


I agree Jenny.

BusyM... BusyMom7789

Calling the president a terrorist.  I dare you say that to the families of the thousands of people who were killed by terrorist attacks.  I will say it to that some people saw this intelligent black man get elected you were ready to chase him back to the jungle.  You can object to his platform but majority of you are flat out racists.  You can't see past the color of his skin.  As soon as he was elected people were sending out monkey jokes, watermelon and chicken posters, claiming you are not really racist because you do have one black friend, and having secret meetings about how you were going to get this "boy" out of the office.  Give me a break.

jhslove jhslove

You must have listened to a very different speech than I did. Where did the President say anything about "free college"? He made the point (very rightly) that college tuition, which is rising at three times the rate of inflation, needs to be reined in and that the RATE OF GROWTH (not the actual tuition amounts themselves) needs to be cut in half. That's not at all the same thing as saying that everyone should be able to go to college for free. So I have to ask, what exactly are you referencing with your "free college" comment?

And "free health care"? Again, what exactly are you referring to in the President's speech or his policies? He believes that everyone should have access to purchase health insurance at an affordable rate, and that no one should be denied health care because of a pre-existing condition or because they become seriously ill. How is that the same thing as promising "free health care"?

right... rightside

Nice article, Jenny.  Obama is, simply, not up to the task ahead of us.  He was arrogant and naive enough to proclaim he'd fix it all by the third year of his term.  Failed.  He's gonna reach across the aisle, work with the oppostion, and move forward.  Failed.  He's going to lower health insurance premiums, bring the unemployment rate down to 6%, and cut the national deficit in half...."Failed" doesn't even begin to cover that one.

Let's say I have a giant mess to clean up.  I hire someone who claims he knows exactly how to clean it up, and it'll take 3 days.  Halfway through the 4th day, the mess is not only still there, it's a lot bigger than it was because the guy I hired is adding more trash.  Not to worry, he says...I just need 4.5 more days to take care of it.   Would you agree?   Or would you say sorry, Trash Man ---- time's up!


nonmember avatar Sickofmorons

fleurdelys, when are you going to stop beating that particular horse? It's tired.

jhslove jhslove

MENSAmamma, I agree with you. For example, AHoward66 says that many European countries subsidize college so that tuition is either free or very, very inexpensive. This is true, but college looks very different in most of those countries than it does here. No Greek system, no on-campus dorms or meal plans, students live either at home or in apartments. Buildings and materials are often fairly bare-bones because departments are operating on a budget that allows only for the essentials.

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing--I'd much rather be able to send my kids to college without going broke, and give up the frills that come with a lot of American universities--but if you're going to compare the American higher-education system with those countries that subsidize college tuition, you need to account for the differences in what comes with the package in both situations.

21-30 of 75 comments First 12345 Last