Barack Obama’s Mythical DNC Speech Makes Me Want a Unicorn

Politics & Views 75

obama dnc speechPresident Barack Obama accepted his party’s nomination to run for reelection at the Democratic National Convention. Then he promised America pet unicorns, leprechaun servants, and monkey butlers, if only we please (please!) vote for him again.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain while 23 million people are out of work, the national debt has passed $16 trillion, and one in seven Americans are on food stamps. 

Okay, maybe Obama didn’t promise us mythical creatures to do our bidding, but he sure as heck offered up quite a few myths. Like free heath care for everyone! Free college for everyone! No more oppression for women! No jobs being shipped overseas! Happy happy joy joy!

The Free Health Care Myth
The truth is that health care is neither a right nor a privilege; it’s a service. I know it’s shocking, but doctors don’t want to work for free any more than anyone else. What if we all expected our mechanics to work for free? This is the real world, and part of living here is paying for things that we receive.

The Free College Myth
Same problem as with health care: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. If you receive a good or service (like medical care or a college education), someone provided it to you. If you didn’t pay for it, someone else did. There’s only so much a doctor or a professor can do for free. They have their own bills to pay. I’ll say it again, because it can’t be said enough: If you didn’t pay for it, someone else did.

The Oppressed Women Myth
I have never, ever, not even once, been denied access to health care because I’m a woman. Since I’ve started using it a decade ago, birth control has never been banned. So long as I’ve been willing to pay my bills, I’ve been seen by whatever doctor I wanted to see. Silly doctors, wanting to be paid. It’s not like we have programs that allow poor people to receive health care ... oh wait, Medicaid. Never mind.

But -- glass ceiling! Women deserve equal pay! Newsflash: If women deserve equal pay to men, they’ll see their paychecks cut. Because when all things equal are considered, it’s actually women that make more than men. Unless they work for Barack Obama, because he pays his female staffers 18 percent less than their male counterparts.

The Overseas Jobs Myth
The president referenced several times that Mitt Romney sent jobs overseas, rather than employ Americans on U.S. soil. Then he said Mitt had no foreign policy experience, which made me giggle, because with all the jobs he’s supposedly sent overseas, you’d think he’d be a foreign policy expert.

Obama also failed to mention that he’s sent more jobs overseas than Romney ever has. But math is hard, so maybe Obama decided to give himself an incomplete. It’s happened before.

The Bottom Line
Obama delivered a speech full of platitudes and nice ideas. If he can get my unicorn to me by November 6, I might even consider voting for him.


Image via Alex Wong/Getty

2012 election, barack obama, democratic national convention


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Shannon Nolan

Amen to that! Four more years will be very scary with him

Hocke... HockeyMomNJ

I don't think our country can afford 1 more year, let alone 4.

Jasmine Laurèn Hughey

I just want to be clear on this...I may have to die simply because I can't afford the "service" of living?

And please just answer my question with a yes or no or polite response. No need to get defensive here.

count... countrygirl670

"Then he promised America pet unicorns, leprechaun servants, and monkey butlers..."

That's funny.  Those are the same images that came to mind when I watched Romney speak at the RNC.

Hocke... HockeyMomNJ

Jasmine - no, there are services for people that cannot afford it.

turna... turnandburn04

Thank you Jenny, simple and to the point, and for those of you who missed the point, ITS ALL TRUE!!! Shocker I know, I just hope everyone can pull there heads out of obama's ass long enough to see what a terrorist truly looks like.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

At the end of the day I don't care who the president is as long is the job is done correctly. Like the U.S. Constitution says "Equality for all". 

My mom is a nurse and we both support universal healthcare the idea. People without insurance already get free healthcare every time they go to the hospital. They usually only go to the hospital when the problem is really bad. (I.e. need surgery, after heart attack, etc.) With universal healthcare those who cannot afford insurance can go to the doctor before they it gets ugly. By doing so they can get any medication/procedure done before a major thousand dollar surgery is needed.

Side note: You can opt of the Affordable Health Care Act by getting your own healthcare coverage.

pezch... pezcharlotte

Turnandburn, did you honestly just compare the President to a terrorist?  Fine disagree with the President and his policies but that is uncalled for and wrong.


nonmember avatar Educated

As is evidenced by the initial (and repeat) commenters of Jenny's, along with Jenny herself, you can't teach people who don't want to learn. Just worry about "save yourself screw everyone else". Just keep that in mind when you yourself need help. I hope you all send your kids to private schools and pay for your insurance 100% yourself and never need to call the police and travel dirt roads that are not paved by the township or state. So sad.

nonmember avatar theladyinred

And this is why I dislike the state both political parties are in. When will both sides stop attacking each other long enough to consider compromise so that our country can move forward and prosperous once again? Each side goes through great lengths to discredit the other whilst making themselves appear more foolish and disillusioned. As a voter I want answers...A solution to fix the state of our economy and our school

system. I do not want more empty rhetoric and namecalling from either


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