15 Brilliant Comebacks to Todd Akin's Ludicrous Rape Comments

Hot List 8

Todd AkinWhile there is NOTHING funny about the recent remarks made by Congressman Todd Akin about women and rape, the idiocy and absurdity of his sorely lacking basic critical thinking skills (and a freshman-level understanding of human biology) is something I just gotta laugh at or I might explode in horror. 

As usual, though, when one of the "leaders" who helps run our country shows his true colors and horrifies the nation, Twitter has wasted no time putting Congressman Akin through the ringer. Knocking down his logic, making (smart and sometimes hilariously immature) jokes at his expense, and rightfully ripping him a new one. So if you're like me and just gotta laugh so you don't cry your eyes, then take a look at these 15 Best Todd Akin Slams from Twitter.

It doesn't really matter *how* you describe the vagina as an anti-rape version of Batman's utility belt, it's that you did it at all.

Todd Akin misspoke. He meant to say elves live in the Uterus and turn rape sperm into Fudge Shoppe cookies. 

For people upset that Todd Akin thinks a woman can't conceive unless she orgasms, just remember he only has six children.

Ezra Klein @ezraklein
As opposed to Todd Akin, vaginas do not have a secret spermicide behind a red box labeled "break glass in case of legitimate rape"

"I misspoke" = "I accidentally said what I really believe" 

Todd Akin will not drop out and you may continue to audit his course in 13th century gynecology.

I'd love to see Todd Akin debate a third grader who believes pregnancy happens when a man spits in a woman's belly button.

Todd Akin is making it so hard to be white in America. 

"You can't gain weight if you eat legitimate food." - Todd Akin's diet

Wait. Todd Akin is on the House Science Committee?! I'm just... I'm just going to let that sink in for a minute. 

In the next segment, Huckabee and Akin will talk about what the baby-delivering stork thinks of all this

Todd Akin's remarks serve as a reminder that the difference between genius & stupidity is genius has its limits. 

Best Todd Akin retort I've seen/heard: "Legitimate women don't catch fire when you burn them at the stake"

Clay Aiken knows more about women's bodies than Todd Akin.

New rule: If you don't understand how pregnancy works, you're forever banned from legislating it. 

What's your response to Akin's remarks?

feminism, politics, discrimination, women's issues, twitter, 2012 election, human rights

8 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

fleur... fleurdelys3110

Some of these are hilarious!! Great compilation, Sheri.

Stacey. Stacey.


Tumblr FTW:


Todd Aiken has sex with ducks.



Well, we can only assume he does.  Akin recently stated that he has spoken to doctors who have told him that, in cases of “legitimate rape,” the female body has biological defenses to prevent pregnancy.


It is possible that he has somehow confused human vaginas with duck vaginas, which have evolved natural defenses against rape-happy male ducks.


I now ask you, ladies and gentlemen, how does one confuse a human vagina with a duck vagina?  Hmm?


The answer is clear: Todd Akin fucks ducks.  He is a duckfucker. 


Maybe this isn’t true, but since Akin feels no need to check his facts re: human biology or his fucked-up use of the term “legitimate rape,” I’m not feeling too keen on checking mine re: his duckfucking or lack there-of.


So, it’s pretty simple.  Don’t vote for this duckfucker right here.



Todd Vrancic

Todd Akin should keep his mouth shut and be thought a fool, because When he opens it, he removes all doubt.

alisa... alisabethjaimes

What a moron. I liked Megan Amram's tweet: "My illegitimate rape whistle is a kazoo." LOL!

DebaLa DebaLa

This is a good start to the Greatest Hits in a long list of far right gaffes in this election year. Love it!

Deann... Deanna2872

If a politician hasn't enough sense to think before he or she speaks, and even given that opportunity they still manage to spew idiotic drivel and verbal diarhea out of their face hole, they really should just pack up and go home. Its bad enough the tax payers are funding way too many luxury lifestyles for so many politicians as it is. We shouldn't be forced to pay for these idiots as well. And that's on both sides of the aisle!

'Legitimate rape', and 'Back in chains'...given the setting and the audience of that second one, it was an obviously bad choice of words. Which makes it just as stupid as 'Legitimate rape'. They're both idiots. Send them home-

Good grief-

Cheryl Spires-Baker Duerr

His words make me wonder if he was a legitimate birth....after all, he is one dumb bastard.


 

nonmember avatar hello

@ yet you are the same blogger who threw up a derogatory,misandric,sexist,psedu-racist penis size bashing blog attempting to slam american guys..right? Hypocrites are a sad lot.

1-8 of 8 comments
F