I'm sure you heard over the weekend that Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan as his running mate. We laughed, we cried, it was better than Cats. But then, once you were able to calm your emotions, did you google Paul Ryan? You did, didn't you. You googled "Paul Ryan vice president" then paused, looked over your shoulder, and googled "Paul Ryan shirtless." You can't deny it.
Don't worry, though, you're not alone. According to the analytics, "Paul Ryan shirtless" was the second most popular search phrase related to the new VP candidate. And for good reason -- the dude's ripped. But what does it meeeeeean.
People all over the Internet seem to be using the fact that Americans are interested in Ryan's alleged rippling abs as proof that the nation's in the shitter, to which I say, no doi. Our country's been in the toilet for years. We're superficial and celeb-crazed and we name our children after Khloe Kardashian. I didn't need some Paul Ryan google search term to let me know that America's frivolous.
But! As much as we love our pretty Hollywood stars and our wine-drunk Real Housewives, we like making informed decisions and defending them, fiercely, if we have to. We research which cereal goes on sale with the same veracity we do vaccine safety. If there's one thing an American loves more than celebrity, it's knowing more, about any and everything, than our neighbor. Look at any comments section on the web and you'll see people sticking to their guns about everything from breastfeeding to geopolitical allies to Jennifer Aniston's love life to what dog food is healthiest to, naturally, the GOP manwich that wants to take over the White House.
We love to be informed -- we wanna see Paul Ryan's muscles as much as we wanna read his Wikipedia page, as much as we want to sound off about the way his politics influence women. Googling to find out his workout regimen isn't evidence that we're doomed as a nation -- what would be alarming is if he wasn't searched for at all. Silence and inaction is scary, but shirtlessness? It's not.
What do the "Paul Ryan shirtless" Google searches say to you?
Photo via monkeyzuncle/Flickr