If you're one of those people who have been searching for the living, breathing embodiment of the old adage "Common sense ain't so common anymore," you may be in luck. Wallace Weatherholt, a 63-year-old airboat captain, recently dangled his fish-clutching hand into the Florida Everglades while he was giving a nice family from Indiana a tour of the waters. And you know what happens to your hand when you dangle it into the Florida Everglades, right? Particularly when said hand is holding a tasty piece of fish? Why, it gets eaten by a 9-foot alligator, of course! (Wait, maybe this is the living, breathing embodiment of "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." Tee. Hee.)
Anyway! Do you know what happens to the rest of your body when you dangle your hand, which happens to be holding a fish, into the Florida Everglades? It gets arrested!
According to authorities in Everglades City, Florida, Weatherholt was arrested and charged on Friday with the unlawful feeding of an alligator (oh, Florida!), and later posted $1,000 bond. See, it's a second-degree misdemeanor (and not-so-smart) to feed the scary, sharp-toothed reptiles in the Sunshine State.
And now for the sad part.
After learning of the incident, wildlife officers tracked down the hungry gator and euthanized the poor guy. They found Weatherholt's hand inside of him, but were unable to reattach it.
I think the moral of the story here is pretty clear. But I'll say it anyway. Please don't feed the animals! Why, oh, why, would anyone think it's a good idea to place their hand -- their gator food-bearing hand! -- into the Florida Everglades? No matter how many times they've successfully done it, it's never a good idea. Does the adage "It's all fun and games until somebody loses a hand" mean nothing? Somebody always loses a hand when they're feeding gators!
So, now what are we left with? We have an August 22 court date for Weatherholt and the unnecessary killing of an alligator who was just trying to grab some lunch. For what? For nothing.
But what's done is done now. So I guess there's "no use in crying over spilled milk."
Listen to the 911 call:
Are you on Team Alligator or Team Weatherholt?
Image via Bogeskov/Flickr