News & Views

Okay, here's the problem I have with this whole otter attack thing (details in just a sec). Not to mention the beaver attack thing (likewise, details in just a sec). Anyway, it's one thing when cheetahs or bears or tigers or whatever turn on humans. I mean, it's scary and sad and all of that, but it's not, like, a big shock. Otters and beavers, on the other hand, are not supposed to go apesh*t crazy and attack swimmers like malnourished piranhas. And yet, that's exactly what's happening.

33-year-old Leah Prudhomme of Minnesota was training for a triathlon in a lake near Duluth when she was bitten 25 times by a "crazed" otter. Sisters Annabella and Alyssa Radnovich of Virginia, just 8 and 11 years old, respectively, were taking a leisurely swim in Lake Anna when they were attacked by a "crazed" beaver.

Prudhomme and the Radnoviches were all treated for rabies (just in case) and are recovering well, but the question remains ... why are these normally tame animals turning into vicious predators?

Are they ... dare I say it ... on bath salts? Is this simply the next phase of the zombie apocalypse?

Perhaps Mother Earth is at last revolting against humanity. We certainly couldn't blame her, could we? Or perhaps the Scientologists are controlling woodland creatures now to make up for losing Katie Holmes.

I don't know. But I do know this much -- between these bloodthirsty critters and that testicle-eating fish, it's gonna be a looooooong time before I go swimming in a lake again.

Have you ever heard of an otter or beaver attack before?

Image via Tambako The Jaguar/Flickr