Dottie Sandusky, the wife of disgraced Penn State Assistant Football Coach Jerry Sandusky, is finally telling her side of the story as she testified yesterday in her husband's trial. For months, we have all speculated about what she knew and now we know. She claims to have not seen any evidence of abuse. True or not, my heart breaks for her.
The fact is, Jerry Sandusky stands accused of doing some of the most horrific things to young boys that some of us can even imagine. But his wife is not accused of anything. She was with this man for 45 years, raised six children with him, and supported his career. And whether it's because she is in massive denial or whether it's because she is telling the truth, I do believe she believes what she says.
His face on my television and computer makes me want to throw up, but poor Dottie Sandusky has to feel that times infinity as she was married to him.
Denial can be very powerful for some. There are those who use it in mild ways -- they pretend their marriages are good when they are really awful, they tell themselves they are happy when their lives are a mess, and they claim to love their jobs when you know they don't. But Dottie Sandusky takes that to a whole different level.
Could she have known and stayed with him? My gut says no. I am not basing it on anything scientific but I have to believe that any normal, functioning human being would leave a man she knew was committing these acts.
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My guess is she used a powerful psychological tool to push all those feelings way, way down. One of Sandusky's accusers said she walked in while Sandusky was forcing him to perform oral sex.
Dottie's side of the story was that the two were arguing about tickets to a dinner they had paid $50 for (the child did not want to attend) and she heard Sandusky say: "We did this for you, and you've got to do this for us." Was her mind playing tricks? Did she force herself not to listen to the true meaning behind that line because it was too awful?
We may never know the truth of what she knew, but I say the mind of a powerful thing and if someone does not want to know something, it can protect us. Dottie Sandusky may be messed up, she may have enabled him in her own awful way, but I don't think she knew on a conscious level and the poor woman's world has crumbled. My heart does go out to her. She is a victim, too.
Do you think his wife knew what was happening?
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