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There is one thing journalists have hammered into their brains from the time they decide to pick up a pen and begin reporting the news. And that is that "dog bites man" is NOT news. However, "man bites dog" is major news! And one guy apparently decided to make headlines because he, well, bit a dog. Reports say the guy was trying to run from cops, who then sicked a police dog on him. Deciding to fight teeth with teeth, and to make journalists everywhere salivate at the opportunity to come up with funny headlines, the man bit the dog.
This living, breathing news headline is a man named Timothy Glaspie. Apparently he was running from cops who wanted to question him about a recent shooting. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Timothy is probably not much of an animal lover -- and that he most likely has never donated money to the Humane Society.
So the K-9 dog ran after Glaspie and tackled him. He then decided to tear into the dog's ear -- with his teeth. In fact, he bit the pooch's ear so badly that it needed to be sewn back up. Ouch! But at least the dog got in a good bite too. No word on whether the "zombie apocalypse" or bath salts had anything to do with this.
I imagine the guy was just trying to get away from the dog, and had no idea he was personifying a legendary journalistic aphorism. "Man bites dog" is journalist-speak for pretty much any bizarre incident. But perhaps, on some level, he knew. Perhaps, deep down, he was all, "If I kick this dog, it might get him off me, but I'm definitely not going to make the news."
Glaspie isn't the only man who has made headlines with his desire to become a journalistic saying. But biting a dog is not exactly common either. Wikipedia lists only four other "man bites dog" incidents. That said, let's just hope the only other dog Glaspie ever bites is a hot dog.
Would you ever bite a dog?
Image via Mrs Logic/Flickr