dial 911Cops in New Jersey say they've arrested a guy who had been blowing up the line to 911 demanding he be connected to New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow. And why, you may ask (of COURSE you would), would someone expect the folks working the 911 lines to take the time to track down a football player's phone number? Because the alleged football fan told them he was President Barack Obama.

Ah yes, the old hail to the chief method of getting what you want out of 911. It's a good one. Although I have to say, in the grand scheme of absolutely bananas 911 calls, trying to get Tim Tebow's number from emergency dispatch by pretending to be the president is pretty middle of the road. Let's see how it stacks up to some other, um, interesting demands made to 911.

1. Fix My Broken iPhone! Let's see, cops in Illinois say they got not one, not two, not three, but FIVE calls to 911 from a drunk dude last fall who was incensed that his favorite gadget had taken a crap on him. I think we file this one under smartphone, dumb user, what do you think?

2. Get Me My Missing McNuggets! Imagine, you stop by a fast food restaurant for some chicken nuggets, and you don't get all your meat. What do you do? Go back to the restaurant and request your missing eats (like normal people would!)? Not if you're Latressa Goodman, apparently. The Florida women called in a McNugget emergency.

3. Make That Sandwich Heavy on the Cheese ... In case the obesity crisis hasn't already made it abundantly clear that Americans take their food seriously, the fact that a number of ridiculous 911 calls are placed by cranky restaurant customers should drive it home. It was just a few days ago when an angry man called the cops because he couldn't get deli sandwiches made exactly the way he wanted them. Perhaps he's heard of home-cooked meals?

4. Turn My Husband On ... Please! You've heard that hell has no fury like a woman scorned? Well, when that woman wants sex and it's her husband saying no in the bedroom, it's the 911 operators who are furious that she'd waste their time with her demands for a hornier hubby

5. Get Us Outta This Corn Maze. You know, I'm not big on paying to get lost in a maze that's going to stir up my allergies. But if I did put up the money for it, at least I'd have the good grace to figure out how to get my butt out of there. Too bad the Massachusetts family who called the emergency line to be rescued last year didn't have the same sense of pride ... or the good sense to download a GPS app.

Alright, there you have some truly stupid reasons for tying up the emergency line. Where do you rank the guy who called 911 to talk to Tim Tebow? Got a better one?

 

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