Another day, another crazy bath salts related story to freak everybody out. Seriously -- the zombie face-eating attack, horrible and tragic though it was, has been just one of many bizarre crimes committed by people high as kites on the hot new "designer drug," as it's been called. (Though can I just say, what an odd name for a cocktail of cocktails so random and destructive it makes meth look classy by comparison.)
"Shocking" doesn't begin to describe these displays of substance-induced psychosis. Scary, terrible, outrageous ... really, none of these words even come close. Clearly we need to invent a new word for this level of ... of ... (imagine sound of shrieking here).
Anyway, you've most likely heard everything you never wanted to know about the aforementioned face-eating zombie attack. But have you heard about these completely insane "brought to you by bath salts" moments?
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1. The 19-year-old dude who dressed up in a bra and underwear and killed his neighbor's goat. Yup. And did I mention cops found a porno mag on the floor near the dead goat's body?
2. The guy who broke into a house, then ditched his car on the interstate and ran because he thought the vehicle was "melting and electricity was following him." According to cops.
3. The guy who broke into a monastery and attacked a sleeping priest with a knife and a wooden mallet. (Hmm, wonder if he was ever an altar boy.)
4. The 48-year-old woman who attacked her mother with a machete. The details speak for themselves: "Panama City Beach police said Pamela Suzanne Higgins came into her mother’s room in the condo they share on Front Beach Road at about 2:30 p.m., swinging the machete, and said, 'You ain’t dead yet?'"
5. The dude who called police to report 30 "intruders" in his house ... who "were trying to make it seem like they were not there, and they would try to blend into their surroundings, like chairs and trees.” So that's why cops couldn't see them! They did, however, use a Taser on the dude who could, apparently, see them.
What's the craziest bath salts story you've heard?
Image via Benny Mazur/Flickr
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Comments 16
What a flippant, gossipy and just stupid article. Hey let's share funny stories about drug abuse and drug-induced madness and violence. Let's joke about it too: "Hmmm wonder if he was an altar boy." Yeah funny. NOT. Get some respect.
aww that poor goat!!! why would anyone hurt an animal???!? what a f*cking psycho.
i also agree with expatalfa, the alter boy comment was not funny. there is nothing funny about a priest getting attacked by some psycho on crazy drugs.
anyway, i just read about a mom who was so high on bath salts she started to beat her toddler, her neighbor tried to get the child away from her but couldn't, finally the child's dad did, and then she started running around naked, and when the cops arrived they couldn't subdue her, they tried pepper spray and when that didn't work they tased her, and later on she died.
lol at the line about how bath salts make meth look classy. it's totally true. i would never try meth, but if for some reason i was forced to choose between trying meth or trying bath salts, i would DEFINITELY go with the meth. bath salts are scary! i'm really afraid. if so many people are doing them, is it not safe to walk the streets anymore? for fear of being attacked/eaten?
"What a flippant, gossipy and just stupid article. Hey let's share funny stories about drug abuse and drug-induced madness and violence. Let's joke about it too: "Hmmm wonder if he was an altar boy." Yeah funny. NOT. Get some respect."
Exactly what I was thinking!!
Not even a little funny, anf the alter boy crap is just dissrespectful.
Despite the people harmed that were innocent in these scenarios, the rest is hilarious. Even the alter boy comment.
These morons get what they deserve! You should not put that shit in your body. If you're that stupid, you deserve to have cops taze/pepper spray your ass! You deserve to be in jail, and your house burned down.
I can't stand drugs, and think that people that do them are the stupidest of the stupid people in the world