Just when I thought all this zombie apocalypse mess had finally calmed down, it happened. A pair of lungs was found on the sidewalk in South Los Angeles. Lungs, people. On a sidewalk!
The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office apparently sent out a coroner and the crime lab to scoop it up (wonder how that call went ... "hey, Bob, it's Sue over at dispatch, yeah, we need you to go claim a pair of lungs at the corner of ... no, no body, just the lungs."). They've sent it in for testing to determine whether we are talking human lungs or animal lungs. But frankly, I'm not going to wait around for that.
I'm going to buy a helmet now. Or maybe I should just go for full body armor for the whole fam? And I'll need bullets. Lots and lots of bullets.
You could call me neurotic, sure, but let's look at the evidence!
More from The Stir: The Zombie Craze Officially Hits Hollywood
Los Angeles County is clear across the country from the face-eating dude in Miami or the brain- and heart-munching college student in Maryland. Thus the discovery of the random organ in Compton leaves us but one conclusion: the zombies are multiplying! It could be days before they get to my doorstep. Days!
OK, that or some guy working the morgue in Compton is a real creep, but work with me here people! We have got one of most bizarre news stories of the year so far going on, and the bigger this whole body part bonanza gets, the more conspiracy theories are going to be floating, and the more zombie-killin' bullets are going to fly. So, you could think awful things like, Oh God, some guy won't get his lung transplant, or Oh God, maybe part of Aunt Helen didn't make it to the crematorium. I'm going to go watch Shaun of the Dead one more time to pick up some tips for protect my family.
What's your theory on the origin of these lungs?
Image via spec-ta-cles/Flickr
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Comments 25
zombie stuff is more and more now but really ... blah
The guy never ate the face, he just bit it off, no remains of human flesh was found in his body during the autopsy.
Now, the other guy, the younger one from Canada, that one did eat parts of his victims bodies.
The media should be more sensitive.
I really think this "Zombie," panic is just that, to make everyone panic. There has definitely been other crazies out there doing this Sh~~, however it's publised more b/c of so much media attention. I just think that some of the comments are done with oure innocent humor, and the comments are specifically zoning in on the actual gross event. this was probably some prank where a med student got a hold of some sepicimen from a lab. It will soon be televised, or broadcast on the internet.
oh and one other thing, look up the LQP-79 virus because thats what some of these people have. and thats what over a dozen others have that are in quarantine right now...............