Just when I thought all this zombie apocalypse mess had finally calmed down, it happened. A pair of lungs was found on the sidewalk in South Los Angeles. Lungs, people. On a sidewalk!
The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office apparently sent out a coroner and the crime lab to scoop it up (wonder how that call went ... "hey, Bob, it's Sue over at dispatch, yeah, we need you to go claim a pair of lungs at the corner of ... no, no body, just the lungs."). They've sent it in for testing to determine whether we are talking human lungs or animal lungs. But frankly, I'm not going to wait around for that.
I'm going to buy a helmet now. Or maybe I should just go for full body armor for the whole fam? And I'll need bullets. Lots and lots of bullets.
You could call me neurotic, sure, but let's look at the evidence!
More from The Stir: The Zombie Craze Officially Hits Hollywood
Los Angeles County is clear across the country from the face-eating dude in Miami or the brain- and heart-munching college student in Maryland. Thus the discovery of the random organ in Compton leaves us but one conclusion: the zombies are multiplying! It could be days before they get to my doorstep. Days!
OK, that or some guy working the morgue in Compton is a real creep, but work with me here people! We have got one of most bizarre news stories of the year so far going on, and the bigger this whole body part bonanza gets, the more conspiracy theories are going to be floating, and the more zombie-killin' bullets are going to fly. So, you could think awful things like, Oh God, some guy won't get his lung transplant, or Oh God, maybe part of Aunt Helen didn't make it to the crematorium. I'm going to go watch Shaun of the Dead one more time to pick up some tips for protect my family.
What's your theory on the origin of these lungs?
Image via spec-ta-cles/Flickr
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Comments 25
Watch Zombieland.. You'll get some legit tips.... like "Double Tap"
I do not have sufficient evidence for a theory.
Zombieland is the best source for info. Not only do you learn the importance of the double tap, you pick up other invaluable lessons, like Cardio is KING! After all, you don't have to be fast, just faster than the slowest person.
You are stupid, crazy people have always been around and just didnt get any attention before this bullcrap zombie thing.
Maybe it's just more bits from the porn star who dismembered that guy in Montreal. He's already mailed bits of him to various places. :-p
Screw the pacifists and your empathy for the naked homeless guy on crack BS, there are 7 billion people in this world, if you wanna shed a tear for every idiot that frees up some oxygen on this planet go right ahead but dont expect the rest of us to be sorry when one or 30 less junkies are here to suck the life out of society. I should say thank you to these dumb@sses for providing weeks of entertainment.
This whole media "zombie" blitz has GOT to end, or some innocent percon is going to get blown away by some moron with a rifle. This kind of messed up stuff happens everyday, the only difference is that these news stories are on our collective radar now after the face-eating incident. Seriously, here in BC, we've had like six differenct feet wash up on beaches within the last ten years. Weird shit happens. Stop with the zombie bull already!