Real Flesh-Eating Zombies Are Nothing New

It's official! The Zombie Apocalypse is here. Between the face-eating man in Florida and the guy in New Jersey who threw his intestines at police, and a Maryland man who ate his roommate, not to mention the popularity of The Walking Dead, there's no doubt that this doomsday prophecy has come true. Grab your shotguns, batten down the hatches, and maybe invest in a goalie mask to protect your face. But zombies are nothing new. In fact, the worst zombie case of all time -- of all time! (as Kanye would say) -- happened way back in 2001.

This particular zombie attack happened in Germany. And it's a little different from most, because the zombie in question, a guy named Armin Meiwes, had a willing victim. Can't even call him a "victim," really. More like a partner. These two fellas were made for each other.

Armin posted an ad on the Internet looking for someone to eat. He wrote that he wanted a "well-built man, 18–30, who would like to be eaten by me." Seriously? Most of us can't find a well-built man, 18-30, to DATE, and this guy finds one to EAT. Anyway.

The victim, Bernd Jürgen Brandes, answered the ad. The two arranged to meet up, but beforehand they had some chummy exchanges via email. Here's a little "taste" of their convo, which ran in Harper's:

Brandes: Have you slaughtered a man before?

Meiwes: Unfortunately, only in my dreams, but in my thoughts I do it every night.

Brandes: So I’m the first? You have eaten human flesh before, or you haven’t?

Meiwes: No, you don’t exactly find it in the supermarket, unfortunately.

Yeah, unfortunately! Oh, what a pair. A few days later, the guys met up at Meiwes' apartment, cut off Brandes' peen, and ate it together. No word on whether they shared a nice bottle of Chianti. Meiwes then slaughtered Brandes and videotaped the entire thing. He spent the next year eating parts of the body.

While Brandes did indeed sign up to be zombie dinner, that thankfully didn't prevent Meiwes from being sentenced to life in prison.

Is this the sickest zombie story you've heard or WHAT?!

 

Image via EricParker/Flickr

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seaho... seahorsesiren

There are no words for this. Truly grisly and horrific. I will definitely have nightmares tonight.

ZoeyM... ZoeyMariah.

wow ! to know i was about to go to a mans house to be killed & eaten is crazy ! but about the recent zombie stories, i live not far from that maryland man who ate his roomate ! it's scary.

Saphi... SaphireLiz

Canibalism people not Zombies

nonmember avatar Emme

What I thought was insane was that it was the willing victim's idea to have his penis cut off so they could eat it together, which didn't end up happening because they thought it was too "tough". Meiwes tried cooking it, but it got burnt and he fed it to his dog. Gross.

Jespren Jespren

I second SaphireLiz, canibalism people, it's been around a while. As a matter of fact given that there are almost no cultures left who practice ritualized canibalism (does that have two 'n's?) we are probably living in the time period with the least amount of canibalism history has ever seen. Still not relevent to zombies.

Karissa L Melio-Behler

i just wanna add my two cents lol. i understand where you are coming from but in the so called zombie apocalypse thats happening now is becuase of a drug called "bath salts" and this article from 2001 does not state anything about drugs being present. i agree there are sick people in this world that do those kind of things but i dont think it has anything to do with the most recent news.

nonmember avatar Cuppincake

These stories are horrific but people just don't seem to understand the difference between zombies and cannibalism......

nonmember avatar dumbkitchens

There is no zombie apocalypse karrisa. And yes the stories relate because they both involve cannibalism. Its actually more horrific when a sober man does it with consent than a drugged up man who was probably going through hell in his mind and was possessed by drugs.

CPN322 CPN322

Jespren - yes it does have two n's and you are right.

Tempe... TempestRayne

You know, you have to die and reanimate to be a zombie. These guys are cannibals, not zombies.

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