It's official! The Zombie Apocalypse is here. Between the face-eating man in Florida and the guy in New Jersey who threw his intestines at police, and a Maryland man who ate his roommate, not to mention the popularity of The Walking Dead, there's no doubt that this doomsday prophecy has come true. Grab your shotguns, batten down the hatches, and maybe invest in a goalie mask to protect your face. But zombies are nothing new. In fact, the worst zombie case of all time -- of all time! (as Kanye would say) -- happened way back in 2001.
This particular zombie attack happened in Germany. And it's a little different from most, because the zombie in question, a guy named Armin Meiwes, had a willing victim. Can't even call him a "victim," really. More like a partner. These two fellas were made for each other.
Armin posted an ad on the Internet looking for someone to eat. He wrote that he wanted a "well-built man, 18–30, who would like to be eaten by me." Seriously? Most of us can't find a well-built man, 18-30, to DATE, and this guy finds one to EAT. Anyway.
The victim, Bernd Jürgen Brandes, answered the ad. The two arranged to meet up, but beforehand they had some chummy exchanges via email. Here's a little "taste" of their convo, which ran in Harper's:
Brandes: Have you slaughtered a man before?
Meiwes: Unfortunately, only in my dreams, but in my thoughts I do it every night.
Brandes: So I’m the first? You have eaten human flesh before, or you haven’t?
Meiwes: No, you don’t exactly find it in the supermarket, unfortunately.
Yeah, unfortunately! Oh, what a pair. A few days later, the guys met up at Meiwes' apartment, cut off Brandes' peen, and ate it together. No word on whether they shared a nice bottle of Chianti. Meiwes then slaughtered Brandes and videotaped the entire thing. He spent the next year eating parts of the body.
While Brandes did indeed sign up to be zombie dinner, that thankfully didn't prevent Meiwes from being sentenced to life in prison.
Is this the sickest zombie story you've heard or WHAT?!
Image via EricParker/Flickr