Brides 'Going Gay' for Their Bachelorette Parties Might Need a Plan B

gay pride flag U.S. flagBrides across the nation, take note: You might not be able to have your rowdy bachelorette party at a gay bar anymore. That is, if the owner of the twice-named "Best Gay Bar in the World," The Abbey in West Hollywood, starts a trend. David Cooley released a statement today noting that he's banning bachelorette parties from the bar until marriage equality is reached. (How very Brangelina of him!)

Cooley explained, "We love our straight girlfriends. But it's also a slap in the face to my customers and my life that we can't have that same celebration."

Hmm. As a bride-to-be myself, it's always been a curious thing to me why so many brides would choose to have their last hurrah at a gay bar in the first place. You'd think someone about to tie the knot might want to get in one last flirt or dance floor bump-and-grind session with a complete stranger ... who is actually attracted to them?

But the tradition of straight girls having their bachelorette party at a gay bar does make sense in a lot of ways. It's obviously one of the only places where we can get our dance and drink on, ogle half-naked men, and not have to contend with horny, aggressive straight guys -- who sometimes make for a fun time, but who can also make for a frightening one. In other words, gay bars are safe havens for straight gals.

But is that enough of a reason for gay men to keep letting straight ladies get their pre-wedding party on at their watering holes? Do spots like The Abbey "owe" it to women like me to offer a party spot that isn't sexually threatening? Of course not! I definitely get what Cooley is saying. I'm sure he only wanted to do something bold to stand up for marriage equality, and unfortunately, bachelorettes happen to be getting thrown under the bus as a result. It's not exactly the big "discriminatory" move some news outlets are making it out to be, as Stephen Colbert humorously pointed out. It's a political statement -- one that should make "straight girlfriends" think about doing what we can to stand up for our gay friends. Even if that means abstaining from celebrating our bachelorettes in their bars. 

If not, no biggie. If that's really where a bride-to-be wants to spend her last big night as a single gal, I'm sure there are plenty of gay bars that won't be banning bachelorettes in order to make a political statement. Those that do? Eh, we should shrug, say more power to 'em, and sincerely hope it's a move that pays off. (Although, donating the proceeds to marriage equality activist groups seems to be an even better idea!)

Do you think gay bars have a right to ban bachelorette parties or is it the wrong way to make a political statement?


Image via dbking/Flickr

in the news, discrimination, marriage

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lalab... lalaboosh

I'll die. Our gay bar is usually where all the straight people in town go for good dancing. It's probably only half gays at best at any given moment. It's a safe place for everyone especially LGBT with great dancing and hand dipped corn dogs! DH and I met there and planned on having our bachelor and bachelorette parties meet there at to end the night together! I'll die die die! I'm calling Jake's RIGHT NOW to talk to them!!!

Maevelyn Maevelyn

The down side it that they're seperating themselves from people who presumably accept their lifestyle. 

jkm89 jkm89

Sorry, that's rude. Because it's the bachelorette's fault you can't get married, right? Way to shit on the people who support you.

Snipp... SnippityB

god I didn't even know that was a trend. what idiot thought that was a good idea? it's a gay bar, don't take your obnoxious party there unless you're celebrating a same sex ceremony.

nonmember avatar Cee

Hm. I don't know how to feel about this. For one, I do not like Bachelorette Parties. Theres too much WOOO going on, the penis shaped everything, the crowny veil thing, the cosmos *VOMIT*. But, I do not enjoy straight people going to the space we go to network, hook up and have a good time without the fear of mistaking someone for straight or the fear of being mistreated by a homophobe to use us as a token. I mean, that is how they treat us when they go. They grind up against us, grab us and have us take pictures with them like "look loooook I know a gay person woooo." That ruins our night that we planned.

Buuut, to kick out people that support our cause isn't the best either. I don't know what would be the best solution. Maybe having gay days only and mixed days?

the4m... the4mutts

I applaud this bar! They're not banning the women "on their side", just the events that rub in their faces, the freedoms that they don't have as well.

More power to them!

cmjaz cmjaz

I don't support gay marriage. However, Cooley has every right not to allow particular parties at his bar.

nonmember avatar Littlelady

Wow Cee that blows my mind you have been treated like that. I am sr8 but live in an area that is very LGBT friendly (palm springs). I have never encountered anyone who openly says they don't want str8 people at a "gay" establishment. Such a bummer that segregating sounds like a good idea to you - it just seems really screwed up. Everyone should be able to have a good time. But things are changing and hopefully our children will never have to deal with the kind of behavior you described. **hugs**

nonmember avatar Cee

Littlelady,
Ooh yes I have heard of Palm Springs! I am from California and should make that trip! I have lots of straight friends and love them to death but yea I have experienced that from there from straight people. Like being a token. "Say something gaaay!" or "aren't you gays supposed to be...." Like, I understand and it is fun to have straight people in gay bars and clubs, but just like straight people go to clubs to meet that guy or that girl to make out with, sleep with..find someone special? Gay clubs are designed for that so we are not hitting on straight people/offend them/upset them. There are gay clubs that are exclusively for hooking up...why would a straight person be THERE? It is a shame to be "segregated" but at times the camaraderie of gays is needed without straights. I mean can you tell me how to fist my girlfriend? Would you understand eeeverything between the dynamic of a femme and butch? It's not segregation but we feel a need to network with our own at times. Straight people should go to gay bars but sometimes we do need our own space.

the4m... the4mutts

Cee- I agree with you. I am bi-sexual, and it is extremely difficult to find a woman that I might want to date, even in the state we live in *california love to you*

And it would be helpful if I knew there were a place that I could go, flirt, and not worry about getting my ass kicked for trying to kiss someone that was just dancing provocatively with 2 minutes previously.

Side note: this has never happened to me, but its a fear, and it has kept me from meeting a girl to date/sleep with or even be close friends with for about 10 years. The minute they find out that I sincerely LIKE women, they freak out.

I'm in Bakersfield, Ca. We're kind of a hick town.

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