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The Zombie Apocalypse Is Here!: What You Need to Know to Survive (VIDEO)

by Jacqueline Burt on May 30, 2012 at 1:27 PM

zombiesWelcome, zombie apocalypse!

We've been expecting you! Seriously, nobody panic or anything, but I'm pretty sure everybody's favorite doomsday prophecy is unfolding before our very eyes, and it ain't pretty. Zombies!! I just don't know how else to explain the HORRIFIC naked face-eating cannibal incident in Miami or the guy in New Jersey who stabbed himself and threw his intestines at the cops (yes, that really happened. This week.). Clearly some really bad sh*t is going down, people. Kinda makes that "Zombie Preparedness" guide the CDC posted last year eerily relevant, doesn't it?

Speaking of which ...

Let's say, for argument's sake, that zombies really are a-comin' to gitcha. As Rick told Herschel on The Walking Dead, "The world out there isn't what you saw on T.V. It is much, much worse and it changes you." Okay, as long as it doesn't change me into a zombie.

I don't want to be a zombie, do you want to be a zombie? Here's what we're gonna need to do avoid getting zombiefied:

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1. Start stockpiling. Canned goods, obviously, but just think of all the other stuff you'll miss when supplies get low -- stuff like Advil and Kleenex and Band-Aids and matches and, for the love of god, gasoline! So you can drive away from zombies!! Or set them on fire, or whatever. Oh, and lots of caffeine-containing products. Because you're never going to sleep again, basically. Might be nice to have a good moisturizer on hand, as well, you know? Cause just cause there's zombies doesn't mean you have to get all wrinkly.

2. Get a whole bunch of guns. Obviously. (Don't forget ammo.)

3. Learn how to fish and hunt and stuff. Also maybe how to sew. And some basic surgical skills might be a good idea. Dentistry, too. (Add Novocaine to the list of supplies.)

4. Learn how to amuse yourself. Buh-bye, electricity! Hello ... um, books? Paint-by-numbers?

Do you think the zombie apocalypse is here at last?


Surviving a Zombie Attack
Filed Under: in the news

Comments

27
  • kevobx
    -- Nonmember comment from

    kevobx

    May 30, 2012 at 2:16 PM
    The fall of Babylon are the religious, (1st Peter 5:13) and all the graven images of her gods he has broken to the ground (Daniel 10:15) watch Israel the third. God does everything perfectly. *Isaiah 19:23 In that day shall there be a highway out of Egypt to Assyria, and the Assyrian shall come into Egypt, and the Egyptians into Assyria, and the Egyptians shall serve with the Assyrians. *Isaiah 20:6 And the inhabitant of this isle shall say in that day, Behold, such is our expectation, whither we flee for help to be delivered from the king of Assyria: and how shall we escape?
  • Procr...
    --

    Procrastamom

    May 30, 2012 at 2:35 PM

    Shane on Walking Dead said something like, "It all started slowly with a few random stories in the news."  (paraphrased...couldn't find actual quote)

    You don't need guns...you need a crossbow like Daryl's.  And my family is going North when the ZA starts...I don't think zombies would be able to last in the freezing snow and us Canadians totally could :)

     


  • Lilac
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Lilac

    May 30, 2012 at 2:51 PM
    This is why I have been learning Homesteading skills, raising chickens, Herbs for health and hunting/fishing with longbow and wood arrows. (You can actually fish with a bow and arrow)
  • cecil...
    --

    cecilmansmom

    May 30, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    rolling on floor


  • Kaide...
    --

    KaidensMama1107

    May 30, 2012 at 3:23 PM
    I agree procrasta a crossbow and a horse to get through all the mess of abandoned cars and what not
  • Mindi...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Mindi Brizendine

    May 30, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    My husband and I joke about an apocalype zombie or otherwise. We think of scenarios in which we would have to survive. It's hilarious. It's also impossible for someone to die,come back to life, but still be dead and eat people.


  • Meg...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Meg Moore

    May 30, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    avoid large cities.learn how to aim a gun.shoot in the head.if it bites someone,shoot them in the head.dont go calling out randomly to see if anyone is there.get silent weapons,swords,bows and arrows...

     


  • Meg...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Meg Moore

    May 30, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    oh yay kevo is here


  • Meg...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Meg Moore

    May 30, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    keep moving,you dont want a horde to stumble upon you,


  • marie...
    --

    mariesmama

    May 30, 2012 at 6:02 PM

    no horses doesnt anybody watch walking dead?


1-10 of 27 comments

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