Missing Female Soldier's Case Ruins 'Girls Night Out' Everywhere

Say What!? 45

Kelli BordeauxIf you haven't heard of Kelli Bordeaux yet, get ready. The 23-year-old US Army soldier has been missing for the past two weeks, and the last person to see her alive is a registered sex offender who claims he gave her a ride home from a North Carolina bar ... only to have her get out of the car early to walk the rest of the way. Somewhere between that car and her place near Fort Bragg, a woman trained by our military to defend our country went missing.

And that, right there, sums up why women across the nation are still afraid to walk alone in parking lots, alleys, and open streets at night. Kelli Bordeaux was young, fit, strong, and more to the point, trained by none other than the experts at the US Army in defending herself. And it looks like someone managed to abduct her.

Who is responsible, what might have happened when Bordeaux left the Froggy Bottoms Bar in Fayetteville are both still up in the air. That sex offender, a guy named Nicholas Holbert, has been arrested for not properly registering. But police say he's not a suspect. And Bordeaux's husband, Michael, has come forward to try to put to rest rumors that they were having marital issues. Although he hadn't seen his wife in 10 days (prior to her disappearance), he says he was just out of town visiting his dad in Florida.

OK. Fine.

But honestly? It doesn't really matter how Kelli Bordeaux disappeared. What matters is that it happened at all. It's sad and tragic for her family, and it's absolutely terrifying for us regular Janes who don't have quite the same means to defend ourselves against an unknown attacker but would like to live normal lives, going out for girls' night without fearing for our safety because some jerk thinks he can do what he wants with us.

I'm loath to buy into the "women are the weaker sex" stereotype, but the fact is, size matters. It's hard to be 5'4" and 138 pounds and fight off a person who is 6'1" and 220. In that sense, nature puts women at a disadvantage. Overall, statistics show men are more likely than women to be victims of violent crime. But the exceptions are terrifying: women are more likely to be victims of rape or sexual assault then men, and 9 out of 10 women murdered were killed by a man.

So what's our option? Self defense classes. Being aware of our surroundings. Being "smart" about stranger danger. We hold our keys between our fingers when we walk in dark parking lots. We ask for a male escort to our car. We travel in packs of women that our male counterparts scoff at (yes, it's a lot like high school when all the girls went to the bathroom, no it's not nearly as fun).

We don't know how "smart" Kelli Bordeaux was ... after all, she ended up in a car with a sex offender. But we do know she was better prepared than the average woman to deal with an attack thanks to the training of our military. And she's still missing.

I'll be holding out hope that she's found alive and well because I never want to hear that someone was hurt. But a selfish part of me is hoping she's found alive and well because it will ease that fear of being a woman alone, at night, just a bit.

How has this missing soldier's story hit you?


Image via Fayetteville Police Department

military, missing person


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CakeN... CakeNDragons

So sad to hear this. we just dont live in a world where its safe anymore and we need to think before we do things, even simple things like enjoying time away for ourselves!

tna4ever tna4ever

This is sad.

I thought I was the only one who walked with my keys between my fingers like Wolverine. ha.

Katie Hesney Johnson

Chllls me to the bone. If this can happen to someone like her, it can happen to anyone. I know some commands have cards they give out to servicemembers with taxi services, and if all else fails, the duty driver. 

the4m... the4mutts

Not everyone in the military is "trained to defend" anything. maybe she did "automated logistics" which is glorified inventory control. She wasn't nessecarily taught to defend herself.

Does it bother me that she's gone? No. She was stupid for taking a ride, or wandering around unarmed.

I'm sad for her. But it doesn't scare or bother me.

I have my concealed carry permit for a gun. I carry mace. Not pepper spray, MACE, knives, and I was taught to defend myself after I had my first child.

Don't be a fearmonger. Size doesn't matter if you have an equalizer, and can run. Spray someone in the fucking face with some mace, and I guarantee you'll be able to get far enough away to pull a gun

jaxmadre jaxmadre

Females -- have a plan when you go out.

I hope Kelli is found safe.

Sarah Pennington

this is why all women should carry guns and KNOW HOW TO USE THEM!

sammy... sammyk1976

I'm with the4mutts on this one.  I don't carry a gun or mace - however I use common sense - something that if people used more often, this wouldn't happen so much.  Don't go out alone, don't walk around in the dark by yourself when you're intoxicated, don't hang out with people you don't know, and make sure someone knows where you are and when you can be expected back.


Sarah Pennington

and themutts yes they are all trained to defend themselves when it comes down to it your MOS doesnt matter you are trained to defend yourself learn your facts before you post. and it should bother you that she is gone it is a very sad thing and you should be scared because no matter the equaliser you have sometimes it isnt enough

Theresa McElroy Mushat

I used to live in Fayetteville with my children. I have a 15 yr old daughter. Stories like this scare me for her safety ALWAYS!

Robert Trainer

whoever wrote this article should be slapped in the face. Hard. instead of giving us some sort of insight as to her description, she just rambles on about "women aren't safe, men are horrible people." I agree with most of what she wrote, but this was a dumb idea for an article. oh god, no more girls night out??? D: shush you.

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