Female Secret Service Agents Have the Moral Superiority to Keep Our President Safer

Rant 33

As the prostitute scandal continues to rock the Secret Service, one thought has been running around my brain like a mouthy schoolgirl: Why aren't there more (or any?!) female Secret Service agents? The reason there should be more is simple: Women don’t get into trouble the way men do. And a recent study says why: Because women are more moral, especially when it comes to how they behave on the job.

Seriously, can you imagine a bunch of Secret Service gals going on a trip to Colombia, where they are scheduled to secure the environment for their boss, who happens to be, oh, the most powerful man in the world, and then hiring a bunch of call guys? Even if they did hire a bunch of call guys -- which they wouldn't -- you know the girls would pay up and not try to stiff the call boys of $47.

Could you imagine a bunch of Secret Service women even partying in the hotel in Colombia, where they were supposed to be, oh, working? Not a chance. When women are supposed to be doing a job, they do the damn job.

And don't tell me that women couldn't protect the POTUS the way a man could. Women can wield a gun. Women can mutter into those little ear pieces. Women can certainly wear sunglasses. And women will actually know if there's a threat around because they won't be busy haggling with a prossie.

The philosopher who invented the “Moral DNA” test, which evaluates morality, says:

Women prefer to make their decisions based on how it impacts others -- which tends to produce better decisions -- while men have a more individual approach and are more self-interested.

Well, duh. What do former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, Senator David Vitter, Bill Clinton strategist Dick Morris, and former IMF managing director Dominique Strauss-Kahn all have in common? Yep, prossies. But more than that, they’re all men! See what I’m saying?

Adds the philosopher:

Men have to grow up, put their ego to one side and show some humility and compassion -- qualities they all too often have in their personal lives but put to one side when they walk into the office.

Or ... women could take over all the really important positions in this world. Problem solved!

Do you think female Secret Service agents would make the president safer?


Image via Kat Gloor/Flickr

barack obama, politics, white house, scandal, animals


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nonmember avatar Brittany

If someone had written a piece about how men are better suited for important positions, and how they are morally superior, TheStir bloggers would be outraged. I'm not sure why feminists continue to believe that women are superior to men. It's posts like this one that give all feminists a bad name and reaffirm my belief that feminism is overrated, and the "War on Women" is a myth propagated by the delusional. I'll continue to happily live my life in a role that uplifts and supports men, as opposed to the life of a feminist which seeks to "advance" women by putting men down.

nonmember avatar Cee

Women may not be tempted by prostitutes and the like but they will probably start catty rumors and be jealous if the one with the biggest chest.

Hocke... HockeyMomNJ

Brittany - well said. This article makes feminists look silly at best. There are plenty of immoral women out there as well as men.

nonmember avatar katrina

You are incredibly sexist. How about instead of feminism, we aim for equality for everyone. No sex is better than another, no race is better than another, no religion is better than another, no sexual orientation is better than another.
So get off of your high horse.

nonmember avatar ugh

Wow. Nice sexist blog post ya got there.

Miche... Michelephant

My mind has just been blown.  I don't understand why people still feel the need to justify things with the adult equivalent of girls rule and boys drool!  We don't know everything about what happened with those agents.  Did they screw up big time, oh yeah.  But it wasn't because they are men.  It doesn't make sense that you excuse men for their poor behavior by blaming their gender.  Stop reiterating that men can't do anything or be responsible for their own individual actions and then ask them to step up when it comes to birth control, being an equal parent or taking out the trash.

 If you don't expect anything of someone they will live right up to your expectations.

Todd Vrancic

I agree, people will live up--or down--to your expectations.

Pinst... Pinstripes4

While I don't like how some feminists tout any female superiority they can muster, I recently read a comedy article on cracked.com written by a guy that pointed out something interesting. http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Sex&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=trending_now

It is true that of the people that get into compromising situations because of libido, they almost always are men.

While we should always pay attention to individuals instead of solely separate ourselves based on gender, pointing out tendencies based on gender isn't counterproductive either.

Nevertheless, I still don't agree with the idea that any gender is morally superior when everyone has different ideas of what is moral to begin with. It is as ludicrous a notion as when Santorum said that women don't belong on the front lines because they confuse men who feel they must protect them.

FourD... FourDaughtersMI

Yowzers... lots of seriousness here as you impact the world's view on men, Kiri. lol.

I think women would also be less likely to hire an escort because the male prostitutes are gay. You know that's going to leave some disappointed/frustrated Secret Service Agents... and you certainly don't want that when they're guarding the POS.

witch... witchkiss

prossies?  Really?

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