Slimy Tucker Max & Planned Parenthood Don't Belong in Bed Together

Rant 10

Tucker MaxMisogynist extraordinaire Tucker Max has a problem. He's trying to backpedal his way out of a quagmire of his own making with Planned Parenthood. But he keeps tripping over "fat chicks" he's mocked and the thousands of women he's screwed, and screwed over, in recent years.

See, according to a Forbes article that Max himself has termed "the most factually accurate article about this," the author of such classy tomes as I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell was going to get slammed with some serious taxes if he didn't give money to charity. So when article author and Max's PR strategist Ryan Holiday suggested he donate $500,000 to Planned Parenthood, he was all "hell yeah."

But then Planned Parenthood shot him down cold, ostensibly because they don't approve of a guy who wrote the book on degrading women. No, wait, wrote several of the books on how to be a complete creep to womankind (one friend likened reading Beer to the feeling you have after eating six donuts. In a row). And now Max wants us to believe that he was just trying to be such a goshdarned nice guy and give this money out of the goodness of his heart.

As he says in a blog post yesterday:

This was not about my image: Some people have tried to say this about me “rehabbing my image” by using PP. That’s comical bullshit.

Which would be a lot easier to believe if, in the same exact blog post, Max had not linked to Holiday's aforementioned Forbes article and (again, Max said this not me) referred to it as "factually accurate." Because in that article, Holiday had this to say as he slammed Planned Parenthood (emphasis ours):

As a marketer, it was one of the stupidest and most depressing things I’ve ever seen. This would have been a win-win-win-win situation. Cut a check, keep a clinic open. Rehabilitate some of Tucker’s PR. Reduce a tax burden. Encourage other donors. And most importantly: Help women keep access to vital reproductive services.

What? What's that? Can we get a look back at those words? Did someone say Planned Parenthood could "rehabilitate some of Tucker's PR" if they took his money? Why yes! Yes they did! And since Max himself says that's accurate, well gosh darnit, it looks like he was looking to rehab his image after all. Comical bullshit indeed.

Now here's something really comical. Max is still trying to say this would help out Planned Parenthood:

I offered real money that PP could really use, there was no ruse or stunt involved. I’ve been pro-choice my whole like, I used the services of PP when I was poor and got help from them, I believe in their mission and I believe in universal access to family planning services. I’ve ALWAYS believed in those principles, and this was a sincere attempt to cut Planned Parenthood real check.

For a guy who is all about helping them there folks at Planned Parenthood so much, he doesn't seem to give two craps about what a donation from a guy like him would actually do the organization. Sure, it might keep a clinic open.

But then again, coming off the recent tangling with the Susan G. Komen Foundation, which lost a lot of donors when it pulled funding for mammography, folks at Planned Parenthood are highly aware that one decision can set off a tidal wave. Taking Tucker's money means being yoked to his misogynist image, which means potentially losing the many, many, many (you know what, just imagine 100 more manys in there) donors who find his base treatment of women reprehensible.

Not to mention Planned Parenthood has worked hard to establish that abortions provided by some of its clinics are important, sometimes life-saving services for women. Tying itself to Max, who has had a major motion picture made about his promiscuity, means playing right into the hands of evangelical Republicans who have tried to brand the organization as a place that uses abortions as birth control for frivolous sluts.

Planned Parenthood may have had to close to a Texas clinic because it didn't take Tucker Max's dirty money. But turn off the fountain of money from loyal donors, further enrage the far right, and they could be faced with closing dozens. If he cared about the organization and not his image, Max wouldn't be backpedaling right this second.

Put yourself in Planned Parenthood's shoes: what would you do?


Image via Getty Images/Toby Canham

abortion, feminism, planned parenthood


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texas... texasmamma777

"This was not about my image: Some people have tried to say this about me “rehabbing my image” by using PP. That’s comical bullshit"

Here's the irony:  Planned Parenthood is misogynist as well.  It's all about the profits for them, not the women whose lives they damage and the milliions of females they abort.

And once again, PP does not perform mammographies.  Pesky facts!

Stacey. Stacey.

Well if I was in desperate need of money I would take it, especially if it was the difference in keeping a clinic open or having it shut down. Everyone needs to focus on the people this money helps, not on the politics of it.  Beggars cant be choosers, money is money.

jkm89 jkm89

I love Tucker Max, I probably don't deserve to be a woman.

nonmember avatar Lisa

Here's another way of looking at it, texasmama. In the words of Sophocles "to never have been born may be the greatest boon of all." I'm the only one of my mom's 6 pregnancies she carried to term, and frankly I wish she had chosen Planned Parenthood over the life she gave me. When you're actually the product of a frivolous slut and a booty-chasing d-bag whose only common ground is that they like to drink and party, and have lousy judgement, you know how much it sucks to have parents who resent your very existence because they never planned to have you. I envy my siblings-who-never-were. They were the lucky ones, not me. Abortion means a foetus will never know life but it also means they'll never know pain, suffering, regection and deprivation. I'm a liberal democrat atheist but I still believe that marriage and commitment need to come before procreation. Not everyone intends to have a baby and not everyone should.

Autumn Scott

Jkim I love him too, and I understand that a lot of women have nothing but contempt for him but if he is trying to help let him help... It really shouldn't matter what his intentions are as long as the check cashes and the clinics use it for something good...

nonmember avatar emma

I can understand why they wouldn't take money from him, given the way he writes about women (although I must say, I do find some of his writing to be humourous). I dont think it would've been a great idea to be so publicly associated with him. If he would've quietly given them the money, without the need to have a clinic named after him, Im sure that Planned Parenthood would have accepted. However, he wants the publicity more than he wants to help people.
And to texasmama, planned parenthood does a lot of good, it doesnt only perform abortions. they provide prenatal care, as well as birth control. And are sometimes the only medical care that women receive as they cant afford anything else. Abortions are a very small part of what they do

Stacey. Stacey.

I agree Lisa.

Anyone who is so totally against abortion should put their money where there mouth is and raise the unwanted babies. otherwise, you'll end up with more children in foster homes, and in homes where their bio parents abuse the shit out of 'em.

nonmember avatar HS

Who the hell is Tucker Max? (Legitimate question)

bills... billsfan1104

Planned Parenthood degrades women too, so whats the problem?

nonmember avatar lisa

@billsfan1104 How on earth does supporting women to making healthy choices for themselves "degrade" them? You know what's really degrading to women? Having male legislators and religious bigots (both male and female) tell them they're too stupid to make choices for themselves, or that they're selfish for realizing that they're not ready/able to be good parents. My parents are cases in point. NOT having me would have been the kinder choice. I've personally known women who refused to abort, who insisted they were "choosing life" *cue the applause from pro-lifers* Their children are now in foster care neglected, unloved and almost certainly doomed to a life of depression and self-doubt caused by parental abandonment. I wish that like my lucky non-existent siblings, those children had never been born, had never had to suffer one day of rejection, lonliness, hunger and sadness. They would have been better off never having to cry themselves to sleep wondering why Mommy hasn't come home from a night of drugs and parties, why their drunk Daddy tells them he doesn't love them before hitting them, why there's no food in the house and they have to go to school in dirty clothes. These are the real faces of the "choose life" movement that anti-choicers don't want you to see. Wake up! Volunteer in a group home! This is real life, not some cutesy billboard or TV spot.

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