Naked Man Robbed Walmart for the Most Unexpected Reason

Say What!? 15

dirty socksStop me if you heard this one: Naked man walks into a Walmart ... oh wait, did I mention this is a true story and not a joke? No, seriously. That naked man was 32-year-old Verdon Lamont Taylor of Pennsylvania, who clearly needed to do some shopping.

Of course, it's tough to go shopping when you don't have any pockets for your wallet. So perhaps the 6-foot-4, 300-pound naked man resorted to shoplifting because he had no other choice. Perfectly understandable, right?

It's what Taylor chose to steal from Walmart that's so ... perplexing.

Me, I'd expect clothing to be first priority on a naked Walmart thief's agenda. A trench coat or a bathrobe to start with, maybe, so browsing for boxers and jeans and t-shirts wouldn't be so awkward. I'd think socks would be last on his list of must-have items. Granted, nobody wants to have cold feet, but cold ... other body parts are definitely more of a problem, right?

Not for this discount chain store bandit.

Nope, Verdon Lamont Taylor walked his bare-ass self into Walmart and went straight for the socks. Not the trench coats, not the bath robes. Taylor breezed right past those bad boys because for him, footwear is where it's at.

Funny thing about that -- the rest of the shoppers at Walmart (the ones wearing clothes, that is) were less than supportive of Taylor's quest for socks. The police tried to explain this conflict of interest to Taylor, but when he wouldn't listen, they really had no choice but to use a stun gun on the very large, very naked man.

Taylor has been charged with aggravated assault and indecent exposure and is currently being held in prison on $50,000 bail. But what I really want to know is, did they at least give him a pair of socks to wear while he's in the slammer?

Why do you think a naked man would steal only SOCKS from Walmart?

 

Image via Christopher Koppes/Flickr

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nonmember avatar Q

Yeah, Mental illness in almost as funny as cancer...

Sierr... SierraLynn

Okay, Q I think you need to lighten up. I didn't read anything about a mental illness from the op.

On the other hand. Lmfao that's hilarious.

nonmember avatar jenn

not a mental illnes. hes my husbands best friend. don don (verdons nickname) smokes wet. the end. and yes it is funny. hes not mental...hes an addict and i take no pity.

nonmember avatar Molly

@ jenn....smokes wet? Did you mean weed? just smoking weed isn't going to cause a man to walk naked into a walmart....
Hard drugs. Or Drunk. One of the two.

witch... witchkiss

"Wet" is weed laced with formaldehyde and PCP

maris... marisbaby

What was the aggravated assault?

nonmember avatar Q

Jenn- first of all, lay off the wet! Second, the fact that someone smokes weed does not preclude them from having a significant mental illness. Many people (ie Jenelle from Teen Mom) use weed to self-medicate an undiagnosed mental illness. Most dope-smokers do not walk into a store naked. This man is, in all likelihood, mentally ill, and it's not any better to joke about it than it would be if he were ill in some other way.

nonmember avatar Q

also @sierralynn - (so sorry if that's your real name - yikes!) Anyway, just because you didn't read it in the article doesn't mean it can't be inferred. It's called...say it with me...THINKING!

jessi... jessicasmom1

hmm strange ... to say the least

nonmember avatar Phoenix

wow Q, so anyone who does something strange is automatically mentally ill in your book? Amazingly crass of you, I say.

You're mad we didn't infer that just because it wasn't actually part of the story in any way? Well, the story didn't mention drugs or alcohol either, why not assume those were the reason? Why not meth- it's a good culprit. Or aliens?

If everyone who did crazy, illegal and nasty stuff in walmart was excused for being mentally ill, we'd need a hospital the size of texas to hold them.

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