Here's something that might make you feel worse if you don't have any Valentine's Day plans -- or might make you throw up in your mouth a little bit if you do: Newt Gingrich plans on making sweet, sweet love to his wife, Callista, this evening. And he wants the world to know it.
Okay, so he didn't put it exactly like that, but when asked about his February 14th plans, the flailing Republican presidential candidate left a little mystique -- and a lot of sexual innuendo -- in his response. He said with a smile: "All I can promise is that I believe she will be quite happy. I think for the first time in a while we'll have a private dinner and just hopefully exchange gifts and, you know, reconnect a little bit." Then he added, "No more details."
Dude, we already got enough details already. And to be honest, we're kind of grossed out.
First of all, I'm never interested in hearing about anybody's sexy time plans, but I'm really not interested in hearing about a politician's. And I'm especially not interested in hearing about Newt Gingrich's. Not only is he an open-marriage advocating, card-carrying chauvinist who's on his third wife, his statement couldn't be a more obvious political ploy.
Newt is pulling out all the stops right now since he's struggling. And Callista is one of those stops. Suddenly, she's more prevalent in his campaign -- she even recently introduced him at a conference in D.C. He's trying to make like the perfect all-American family (like Mitt and Ann Romney). And you know what? I ain't buyin' it.
So, please keep your Valentine's Day plans to yourself, Mr. Gingrich. Nobody wants to hear 'em. Except, maybe, you know, your wife. Seriously, though, nobody else.
Do you think Newt Gingrich's Valentine's Day is going to be as sexy as he makes it out to be?