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Tell me you didn't burst out laughing when Mitt Romney got prank called on C-SPAN this week. (You can tell me, but I won't believe you.) Come on, prank calls are funny! They were funny back when you were 12 years old and dialed up your math teacher to ask if her refrigerator was running. Swap the teacher for a senator and the refrigerator gag for a penis size reference and you've got comedy gold, people.
Still, I was kind of disappointed. If you're gonna prank call Mitt freakin' Romney, why waste the opportunity with a junk joke?
The Mitt Romney prank call possibilities are endless ...
1. Mitt? Rick Perry here. Now I'm sorry to have to ask again, but you still owe me that $10,000.
2. Romney! Trump. I got news for you, my friend ... you're fired!
3. Senator Romney? This is Kim Kardashian. That really wasn't cool, what you said about my marriage to Kris Humphries. So listen, my mom has a message for you: Sleep lightly.
4. Is this a Mr. Mitt Romney? Just letting you know, your order from Bob's Big House of Smokes 'n' Beer has shipped. That was 40 cartons of Virginia Slims and 10 cases of Schlitz, right?
5. Ola, Mitt? It's your cousin Juanita! When you are coming to visit us in Mexico? The children want to hear the stories of the indoor plumbing again!
6. Um, hello sir. This is Robert Pattinson. Would you be so kind as to do us a favor and stop telling people you like Twilight? Much obliged.
7. Hi-ho, Kermit the frog here. What the %^&* do you mean you're gonna eliminate federal funding from PBS?
8. Good afternoon Mr. Romney, this is your bank calling. We're calling in regards to some unusual account activity -- for the first time since you've been with us, your checking account has dipped below $13,500,000.
9. Uh, hey, this is Pizza Express? Just checking your order, cause you kept flip-flopping back and forth. Pepperoni or plain, dude?
10. ROMNEY! It's your main man John McCain! You ready for another endorsement from yours truly? You can run but you can't hide!
What would you say if you prank called Mitt Romney?
Image via Gage Skidmore/Flickr