Stephen Colbert for President: 5 Ways He Might Just Save America

stephen colbertAt last, a candidate I can believe in! (Fingers crossed!) Tonight, Stephen Colbert is expected to announce whether or not he'll make a genuine bid for the presidency as a write-in candidate in South Carolina's Republican primary. Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! This is a political no-brainer, people. Colbert did, after all, recently poll ahead of Jon Huntsman in his home state of SC. (And he wasn't even officially on the ballot!)

Oh, Stephen Colbert ... for you and you alone, I would vote Republican.

I've been convinced Colbert would make an excellent prez for months now. And not just because his show is the one thing that can make me laugh at the end of an abysmally terrible day ...


1. Stephen Colbert is more politically well-informed than most politicians. It's true; the man knows his issues inside and out. We've seen it happen on the Report time and time again ... Colbert is more knowledgeable about his guest's background or agenda than the actual guest (his interview with Huntsman is a perfect example).

2. Stephen Colbert is tolerant. Nope, he's not a racist, not a misogynist, not an anything-ist. He's not even homophobic! Unlike some candidates (ahem, Santorum). Bla people? REALLY?

3. Stephen Colbert is respectful. Even when he doesn't necessarily agree with or like the opposition, he never resorts to below-the-belt jabs. Like when he referred to Mitt Romney as a "juggerishnaut." "Sure, he's not the warmest candidate or the most conservative, but you know? He's there."

4. Stephen Colbert is cool. Oh, you think it doesn't matter if the president is cool or not? Consider the all-important campaign song choice. In the past, musicians have protested the appropriation of their music by politicians, so horrified were they at the notion of being associated with, oh, I don't know, Michele Bachmann? (Tom Petty is not a fan!) Colbert is tight with everyone from Jack White to The Black Keys to Vampire Weekend. His campaign would have the best soundtrack ever!

5. Stephen Colbert is a god-fearing man. Because there's no better way to point out the hypocrisies and inconsistencies of religion than to help the faithful promote bass-ackwards ideas like "Jesus-ween."

Why do you think Stephen Colbert would make a great president?

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