Freakiest TSA 'Good Catches' 2011 Remind Us Travelers Can Be Scary Crooks

on January 4, 2012 at 4:43 PM

knife airport Not to sound overly critical, but for the past year or so, I've thought of the TSA as an oppressive, drunk-with-power regime out to make my travel experience a torturous nightmare. That all changed today, when I took a look at the TSA's Top 10 Good Catches of 2011. Yikes! No wonder the TSA is so jumpy ... people try to take some seriously scary items on airplanes!

I guess I just assumed, all this time, that the average traveler didn't generally try to smuggle things like land mines in their carry-on bags. You know, that folks already under FBI surveillance were the ones who usually attempted those types of stunts.

Dear TSA, I was wrong. I'm sorry. I don't care how invasive and thorough my next pat-down is, as long as it keeps this stuff from ending up in the overheard compartment ...

1. Small chunks of C4 explosives. Why this passenger was transporting this powerful explosive, a favorite of terrorists worldwide, is beyond me. I'm just glad his idea of a genius hiding place was a tobacco tin. They'll never look in here!

2. A loaded .380 pistol. Best part? Strapped to a 76-year-old traveler's ankle. Silly grandpa, they don't allow guns on airplanes anymore!

3. Over 1,200 firearms, total. And apparently quite a few are loaded! What really worries me about the one dude who was caught with 2 handguns, 8 knives, 3 ammo magazines, and 1 saw is that he thought he could get past security with 2 handguns, 8 knives, 3 ammo magazines, and 1 saw.

4. Throwing knives. Yup, 2 of 'em ... hidden in a hollowed-out book! Hey, this trick worked when I used to hide Pixy Stix and Big League Chew from my mom ...

5. A flare gun with 7 flares. I shudder to think.

6. A stun gun disguised as a smartphone. Points for creativity! This one really does scare me, though, as it seems like something that could easily slip past the checkpoint undetected. Unlike, you know, a truckload of guns (duh!).

7. Inert landmines. I shudder to think. Again.

8. Tactical spikes. These bad boys were cleverly tucked away in the sock of a serial killer passenger. (Hey, I watch those true crime shows. I know what's up.)

9. A science project. Science project, my Aunt Fanny! That thing is a bomb (you'll see when you check out the photo).

10. Snakes, turtles, and birds. SNAKES ON A PLANE?!?! I had no idea that movie was a documentary. Or that the exotic animal trade was so ... lame.

Do you feel like the TSA's techniques are justified after reading this list?

Image via Brent Payne/Flickr

About the author Jacqueline Burt

has written for numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites. She is easily bored and often tired, so she requires constant entertainment to keep her awake. Dance, Monkey! Dance!

Filed Under: airplanes, guns, in the news, terrorism, travel

Comments (14)

CraftyJenna

on Jan 4, 2012 at 4:54 PM

Still no. These are things that would have been caught even without the strip searches and creepy invansive pat downs. You are talking about big obvious things, most of which would have been caught with the good old fasioned metal detector. Also, there is no information citing that there are more instances of people trying to take weapons on planes than any other year, or even if all of these people tried to board planes in America. Keep panicing, though, that's how they will continue to infringe on your rights.

Report this comment

MamaRockett

on Jan 4, 2012 at 5:42 PM

I love you CraftyJenna.

writingafwife

on Jan 4, 2012 at 5:51 PM

I need a like button for CraftyJenna..you totally nailed what I was thinking

Nonmember comment from Anowscara

on Jan 4, 2012 at 5:54 PM

I absolutely agree with CraftyJenna. Metal detectors and bag scans are ok with me, but full body scans with harmful radiation and sexaul assault, excuse me, pat-downs, are absolutely unnecessary. I personally believe the best defense we have is a conscious American people who understand terrorists do try to use planes as missiles and would, I absolutely believe, take down anybody trying to use a plane for terrorism. That, and bolt-locked cockpit doors!

Laura2U

on Jan 4, 2012 at 5:57 PM

Yeah, I'm with CraftyJenna too.

Seniahmom

on Jan 4, 2012 at 5:59 PM

Ditto CraftyJenna

Nonmember comment from Jay

on Jan 4, 2012 at 6:07 PM

Its a pat down. NOT molestation. Get. Over. It.

LucretiaMcEvil

on Jan 4, 2012 at 6:56 PM

At least you have a right to have weapons at all in this country. It's morons breaking rules that made the TSA go to such extremes, obviously, considering this is a new thing.

Who travels so much that a pat-down is like getting "sexually assaulted"? Think of it as a "yearly gyno checkup".

Nonmember comment from ele4phant

on Jan 5, 2012 at 12:30 AM

Just so I'm clear: a daytime curfew where cops are authorized to haul truant kids back to school is akin to nazi Germany, but the TSA's overly invasive and unproven (they may find stuff but as others have noted - its unclear if the traditional methods alone would be just as effective) tactics get your seal of approval? Ohhhhhhkay, makes sense.

Fisher1949

on Jan 5, 2012 at 6:07 AM

Their list fails to mention that in two separate GAO tests in 2011, TSA failed to detect weapons 70% of the time. The 1,200 items discovered means that approximately 4,000 items passed through security last year undetected and unreported.

TSA has also avoided comment on the C-4 discovery at Midland, TX because they inspected the passenger's bag at Fayetteville, NC airport the week before and missed the C-4 then. They also missed a large knife at Myrtle Beach airport this week

There were 60 security failures reported in 2011 and they wasted no time scoring their first two failures of 2012. This agency is a disgrace and needs to be replaced with a system that works consistently and rationally