Police Employees Cast 'Birdseed Spell' to Get Rid of Their Boss

8

birdseedLet's say you were going to cast an evil spell on someone. Which of course you wouldn't! I'm not implying you would. Or have. Or are thinking about it. Let's just say, hypothetically, that you were maybe gonna do a little black magic.

What do you think you would need? Candles, maybe? Goat's blood? The light of a full moon?

Birdseed?

That's what North Miami Police Department employees Elizabeth Torres and Yvonne Rodriguez planned to use in a hex against their supervisor, city manager Lyndon Bonner. Yup, just the birdseed.

See, with budget cuts looming, the women were afraid Bonner was planning to give them the axe.  

Luckily, Torres and Rodriguez knew just how to get rid of the pesky manager. According to the Santeria tradition (or at least whatever version of Santeria these two believe in), sprinkling birdseed has the power to make a person go away. Any person, from any place. Following that "logic," the plan was diabolically easy: Toss some seed around Bonner's office and get rid of him for good! Bwahahahaha!

But there was a kink in the otherwise foolproof scheme. Neither Torres nor Rodriguez had access to Bonner's office, so they attempted to enlist the aid of Esther Villaneuva, a janitor.

Believe it or not, Villaneuva totally believed in the evil power of birdseed, too. What are the odds??

That's why she blew the whistle on the women -- she was afraid something truly bad would happen to Bonner if she birdseeded his office. Because of her confession, Rodriguez, who worked as an office manager, has been fired; Torres is being recommended for termination, but since she's actually a veteran police officer (yep, a police officer was behind the birdseed mayhem), she is under union protection. For now, anyway.

Look, I'm not judging these ladies. We've all had our moments of feeling like, "If I only had magical powers, I would totally turn so-and-so into an eight-headed frog right now!" It's a completely natural instinct and also probably the reason why most of us don't have magical powers (there would be an awful lot of eight-headed frogs hopping around).

But birdseed?

Have you ever wanted to cast an evil spell on someone?

 

Image via Tim Parkinson/Flickr

crime, in the news

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babyb... babybirch

Santeria is notorious here in Miami . If you think this is weird, you should see the severed goat heads floating in canals and dead chickens on the railroad tracks . It's bizarre .

Argentina Iraheta

Maybe you should read/research a little more about Santeria before you make fun of it online. It's a religion and it happens to be similar to voodoo.


I'm not saying that on the surface it doesn't sound silly, but hey some atheists think it's silly when people pray to an invisible being when they want/need help. Basically, research before publication. That, and you never know who is reading this. Santeras who do black magic aren't exactly known for their ability to laugh off a jab at something they believe in so vehemently.

Bunny... BunnyplusMason

If I know anything, it's that you don't mess with Santeria. Period.

elibee elibee

If you consider Santeria a religion, and in fact the courts have recognised it as such when they give it and its followers the same rights and First Amendment protections as other believers of other faiths, then this article is pretty condescending. Seeds feature heavily in this religion. Plus you should really never mess with Santeria, and that includes not dissing it. It is not a benevolent religion. I'm personally quite scared of it but maybe I'm just being silly...

Lucre... LucretiaMcEvil

"I don't practice Santeria, I ain't got no crystal ball..."

RaeAn... RaeAnne.USAF

Lmfao LucretiaMcEvil perfect!

Jenny... JennyG0929

LOL..those lyrics in my head exactly...sublime!

tuffy... tuffymama

Well, I stand corrected. Christians aren't the only believers skewered by the brilliance that is The Stir. SMH.

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