Subway Groper Heroine Inspires the Rest of Us to Kick Butt

on November 4, 2011 at 11:55 AM

subway toronto Look out sexual predators, gropers, and bum-squeezers, we've had enough and we're fighting back. It's officially over, do you hear me? Your days of treating women like your own walking inflatable sex dolls are gone. Welcome to a new world of pain and humiliation.

Leading us into this brave new world of comeuppance is Shane DeJesus. Shane was waiting for a subway train at 9:23 in the morning when a man lifted her skirt and groped her. She felt "violated" but apparently also angry -- so angry that she started hitting and kicking the man. When he tried to elude her by jumping into the next subway, she followed him in and continued her beating. She also took a photo of her attacker with her phone for all the world to see.

I love this story so very much. Like many women living in a large city, I've been there. And I've fought back, too.

The first time I was groped by a stranger, I was so shocked I just froze. And then I spent the rest of the day imagining what I wish I had done instead. I think it worked, because the last two times it's happened (the last two times -- how pathetic that I can even say that), I've been ready. I didn't beat up on the guys like Shane did, but I whirled around and started screaming at them. Both times the guy was totally embarrassed and tried to pretend he didn't know why I was freaking out. But I bet they had second thoughts the next time they got the urge.

Since this summer, there has been a rash of sexual assaults in my neighborhood. It's not just one guy, either -- according to the victims, there is a rotating cast of men attacking women. Is it something in the water? I don't know, but we're all starting to prepare ourselves. Some are taking self-defense classes, but I think even if you don't have the time or money, you can start by visualizing an attack and picturing yourself yelling back.

I don't know if the police would recommend a physical counterattack like Shane's, especially if you're alone. But I think we need to all start getting on the same page here. If we all start making it at the very least embarrassing and inconvenient to molest us, the groping may slow down. Now repeat after me: "Don't you ever!"

Have you ever been groped by a stranger? What did you do?

Image via Jay Woodworth/Flickr

About the author Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her husband and elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.

Filed Under: feminism, in the news

Comments (13)

Nonmember comment from Chelsea

on Nov 4, 2011 at 12:14 PM

I was groped at a carnival a few years ago. I turned around and punched the guy in the chin. And broke my hand. And then he laughed and walked away. We all want to be Xena sometimes but getting phisical can backfire (in a cast for 8 weeks)! Next time Ill take a pic with my phone and call the cops.

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Nonmember comment from chicab

on Nov 4, 2011 at 12:17 PM

I've never been groped like this story (thankfully) but my story goes like this. One day, normal after work hours - I was walking through a long subway tunnel. Unbeknownst to me, there was man walking behind me with his penis out of his pants and in his hands. People walking in the opposite direction saw the man, and chose not to say anything to me. I started getting suspicious when I kept seeing people making weird faces as they passed me. I finally made it to the turning point of the tunnel and turned around to scream at the creep - and I noticed the penis. I got so angry and took off my show and hit him on the head and shoulders with it. He covered his head and started to run the opposite way from me. I just stood there, one shoe on, the other in my hands. I was crying out of anger that this creep did this, but more so that not one person alerted me to this happening behind me. I eventually got home safe, but it kills me that no one takes a stand anymore for whats right. And mind you this was many years ago, now sexual attacks are more brazen.

Nonmember comment from blh

on Nov 4, 2011 at 12:23 PM

I wouldn't punch because like the above poster said id hurt my hand...or miss. Id slap because I can hurt somebody with my bitch slaps lol. Or a kick in the balls should get the point across.

Kritika

on Nov 4, 2011 at 12:49 PM

How violent she must have been spanked as a child.

EquestrianMom

on Nov 4, 2011 at 2:41 PM

Oh, this has happened to me before, I get IRATE! It's my body, how DARE someone put their hands on it without permission?Here's one of my favorite times.

I had it happen at an airport one time in particular, I was seated next to a man who's hands couldn't seem to stay on his own lap. I asked him to stop once, told him to stop once, requested a new seat with a stewardess and explained why, she apologized but the plane was full. I told himm I was way underage, I threatened to call airplane security the moment we landed, I begged him to stop touching me. The last time he reached to unbotton my pants, I reached over, grabbed his crotch, and informed him I worked on ranches, castrated cattle for a living, and would use the dull butter knife which came with my meal to make him a eunich. He spent the rest of his plane ride trying to trade seats with someone, anyone! I thought he'd try and press charges, but a number of passengers had seen the issue I was having, I woulda been thrilled to land in court with that jerk. I told security on him anyways.

Mama2MonkeyBoys

on Nov 4, 2011 at 2:58 PM

Lol @ Kritika

Also - the really great part (sarcasm) is that the guy will probably turn around and charge her with assault. And win. Because that's how the world works nowadays.

tuffymama

on Nov 4, 2011 at 8:13 PM

Shane DeJesus is my new heroine.
I kinda feel for the guy who tries this crap with me. I'm a ballbuster if a man puts an unwanted hand on me. Ask XH.

GlowWorm889

on Nov 5, 2011 at 7:09 PM

I've never been groped, and honestly don't know what I would do. I'd like to say I'd give him (or her) what-for, but I'd likely be too surprised and shocked to do much of anything except feel really uncomfortable.

Facebook comment from Jasmine Mitose

on Nov 6, 2011 at 1:55 AM

i was walking down the street (it was late) when some guy came up put his arm around me & went all "hey baby" blah blah. so i took a few steps with him then grabbed his arm & whipped him around right into a covered bus stop (hence taking those steps...i saw somewhere to throw him!) while he was on the ground looking all confused as to how the hell he got there i said "first of all don't efing touch me i don't know you. second don't EVER touch ANY woman like that. & third your a$$ better stay down or else all of your buddies there (he had a group of drunk friends laughing at him while clinking their beer bottles together) are going to see you get your a$$ beat by a 5'2 girl.

there are also the times that guys have tried to push me into their cars (the joys of living in oakland, ca) & i responding by pulling a knife on them. yep very violent but i'll be damned if i'm going to let those creeps get away with hurting another woman! hopefully i got them to think twice!

Facebook comment from Zee Madman

on Nov 6, 2011 at 9:04 AM

Ladies don't demean Yourselves by using Physical Violence & risk hurting Yourselves. There's this new invention that's come out called a Hand Gun. Semi Automatic, Large Capacity Magazine's, & You can even get Classes on how to use it. Make them Bark like a Dog, Duck Walk, or just Shoot off their Knee Caps. They won't bother You again & probably no one else either. I know some of You will try to tell Me how You just can't commit that kind of Violence! But is Groping You a Violent Act? If not when can I see You? Dinner first? Or can we just get to the Groping Part? See My point?