PETA Sues SeaWorld to Free Shamu From Slavery

on November 4, 2011 at 11:11 PM

Last week, People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) filed a lawsuit against SeaWorld, claiming that orca whales (aka killer whales) are slaves under the 13^th Amendment, and as such, should be let free.

Insert laughter here.

Seriously. That’s what they said. In a news conference, PETA’s Jeffery Kerr said, "While it may seem revolutionary, our lawsuit is based on the plain text of the 13th Amendment, which outlaws the condition of slavery.” PETA claims that gorgeous orcas like Shamu were violently captured from the sea, and they deserve to be released back into their natural habitat.

And here I always thought PETA was a left-wing organization. What’s all this talk about capturing killer whales from the sea? They were rescued, people. It’s a scary ocean out there, man. It’s all survival of the fittest and whatnot in the deep blue sea. Now Shamu lives in paradise.

It’s like a liberal’s wet dream (pun intended … get it? Ocean? Water? Never mind.) at SeaWorld for the orca that live there. Their Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) is superb, as they never have to pay for their own food. Well, they might have to SNAP at a fish or two when leaping out of the water to entertain the crowds, but really, is that work?

They have complete socialized health care. When one of them is sick, the veterinarians rush in to take care of them, and the whales never have to pay a dime. That’s good, since they lack the opposable thumbs (or any fingers or even arms) necessary to pull the checkbook or Visa out of their back pockets.

Even their penal system aligns with liberal ideology! No one is ever really ‘at fault’ for their crimes; they are victims of their circumstances. They are never locked in jail for their bad behavior, even when it results in the death of an actual another person.

PETA wants to ruin this system? WHY?? I thought PETA was for the ETHICAL treatment of animals. Why would they want to release those poor darlings back into the cruelty of nature?

The above article was written completely tongue-in-cheek, and if you can’t see the humor, I can’t help you. Animal cruelty is a real thing, and deserves our attention. I believe that by filing these types of lawsuits, PETA undermines the efforts of the many fighting against the Michael Vicks of the world that actually do abuse animals.

Image via goldberg/Flickr

Filed Under: environment

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Comments (31)

CollieLover339

on Nov 4, 2011 at 11:32 PM

PETA is almost as bad as anti-choice bombers. They don't base any of their views on facts or science, they stalk scientists, assault people by spitting or throwing pies or rocks, and donate money to domestic terrorists and arsonists. They also believe honey bees are 'slaves' and should be subject to the 13th amendment.

Like any other extremists group, they are militant in their baseless convictions, and use manipulation, trapping, lies and physically dangerous tactics under the guise of 'investigation'.

They have been persecuting the ASPCA for years, although PETA kills over 99% of the animals they 'rescue'.

PETA are no different from any other domestic terrorist organization, or intolerant group proselytizing their beliefs. If you're not a vegan, then you must be for torturing animals. Just like if you have an abortion, you must be for killing grown babies and promiscuity.

In the Spring Monkey case, the original PETA founder had volunteered to clean cages at a research lab. When the scientist went on vacation he staged dramatic photos of poor conditions and torture. He had no witnesses or evidence. Other lab assistants testified they never saw the lab as it was presented in his staged photos, and the scientist was acquitted of all charges.

Turns out that the scientist's research ended up curing stroke victims from being permanently paralyzed.

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on Nov 4, 2011 at 11:39 PM

Just a slight correction- whales do, indeed, have phalanges (finger bones). Inside their fin is basically a hand skeleton. They share most every single bone that most other mammals have, just different sizes to make the shape of a whale. For instance all mammals --humans, whales, mice, horses-- ALL have 7 cervical vertebrae, etc...

Nonmember comment from Robert

on Nov 5, 2011 at 12:01 AM

Seriously, if you think Orcas are actually smart enough to be considered with humans then you must realize the ocean is probably not the place they'd rather live. Think of it from your perspective. You can be treated like royalty by Gods who can cure you with solutions you can't even fathom. You are gauranteed a long life wih plenty of food and never have to worry about being eaten.

Why would you choose the wild?

gemini331

on Nov 5, 2011 at 4:59 AM

Well forgive me if I'm wrong; but I didn't know animals had rights under the Constitution.

Rogerwb2205

on Nov 5, 2011 at 6:05 AM

With thinking in their line of thought, ARE YOU NUTS? the 13th Amendment applies to humans, not animals, and with the same thinking, if released back into the wild after being cared for for so long Shamu would die from lack of food and their original pod. Come on PETA, you need to quite this dumb and lame lawsuit and go after the poachers that are killing the animals in the wild. Shamu doesn't need a lawyer or group to save him from the only home he probably remembers any more. Pick on someone else Sea World takes care of their animals, leave it at that already.

Zamaria

on Nov 5, 2011 at 9:06 AM

PETA is crazy. But I do get a little sad seeing animals like this locked in cages or tanks. I really doubt that they actually LIKE being locked up. If they are injured or disabled and would die if they were released I understand keeping them in captivity, but if they're healthy animals I really wish they would be returned to the wild. But presenting them as slaves with the same rights as humans is a little rediculous. I guess my cat would be a slave in PETA's opinion, as well as any animal not in the wild. That's kind of a silly idea.

hoticedcoffee

Well, if they want whales to have the same rights as humans, they should suffer the same consequences as humans, too. I guess we should look forward to someone filing charges against Tilikum for murdering his trainer.

RhondaVeggie

on Nov 5, 2011 at 9:15 AM

If you can't see that keeping a whale shut up in a tiny tank is abuse then here really is no help for you. Way to enforce the heartless conservative stereotype.