The Food Police Ruined My Daughter's Birthday

on September 28, 2011 at 5:06 PM

french fries Monday was my eldest daughter’s eighth birthday, so for a special treat, she got to pick her dinner. Golden Arches all the way, baby. Poor girl rarely gets Happy Meals, since her mean old mama doesn’t see a point to them.

Seriously, between the freaky food that won’t decompose and the cheap plastic toy that inevitably ends up smashed under my poor tender foot during a 2 a.m. bathroom run ... mama’s not a huge fan of Ronald’s.

But a girl only turns 8 once, and since I’m a firm believer in moderation, the birthday girl and her little sister got cardboard boxes of greasy deliciousness for dinner. They’ll probably get them again in six months, when little sis turns 4. Until then, they’ll be forced to do disgusting things like eat green stuff and drink milk.

Imagine my little girl’s disappointment when she opened her birthday dinner and pulled out the dinkiest container of fries on the planet, containing about 13 fried potato sticks of gloriousness. “Why are these so tiny?” she asked in disbelief. “Don’t they know it’s my birthday? Hey, there are apples in here too ... but they forgot the caramel sauce!”

Something in my brain triggered and I remembered a news story I’d read over the summer ... something about the Food Police invading McDonald’s. A quick trip on a Google search engine solved the mystery of the teeny fries: Apparently McDonald’s has done my family a favor by making the Happy Meal healthier.

It’s a Happy Meal, people. It’s never going to be healthy. They soak those burger patties in ammonia for crying out loud. Reducing the number of fries and tossing out the caramel (which, by the way, is the secret to getting kids to eat apple slices in the first place) isn’t going to change the fact that McDonald’s is junk food.

Junk food has a time and place, and a birthday dinner definitely qualifies. Thanks for nothing McDonald’s. Not only did you disappoint my daughter on her big day, you’re parading around as something you’re not: Healthy.

Next time we’re going to In-n-Out.

Image via Roving I/Flickr

Filed Under: advertising, corporations, chain restaurants, food safety, food, politics

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Comments (32)

Nonmember comment from me

on Sep 28, 2011 at 5:10 PM

ugh, so if she really needs more fries, but a large fry to go with it.

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Facebook comment from Rachel Schiller

on Sep 28, 2011 at 5:36 PM

Im irritated by it, if I wanted my kids to have an apple with their lunch I would have fed them at home. It's a happy meal, not an everyday meal.

LovingKentucky

on Sep 28, 2011 at 6:02 PM

Don't blame McDonald's for trying to make everyone happy. You knew what your daughter wanted from McDonald's so it was your responsibility to know what would come in the Happy Meal.

Fallaya

on Sep 28, 2011 at 6:05 PM

It's Michelle Obama's fault. How dare she want to combat America's obesity problem. Typical liberal: caring about the welfare of others!!!!

^^Sarcasm

butterflymkm

on Sep 28, 2011 at 6:10 PM

Or ya know you could have just ordered another small order of fries for a $1...but then what would you have to bitch about?

Facebook comment from Courtney Jefferson

on Sep 28, 2011 at 6:54 PM

oh god your child didn't get enough french fries!!!! Next time order her a real meal.

Nonmember comment from Venessa

on Sep 28, 2011 at 8:20 PM

Since when is carmel sauce the only way to get a child to eat apple slices. When my DS was younger and the rare times he got a happy meal he got the apple slices instead of fries and he didn't even know the carmel sauce came with it since I tossed it before he got his meal. My child was taught what food tasted life without sauces on it. Once he learned and discovered he liked them an occasional ranch with carrots or other veggies was enjoyed.

Nonmember comment from Michelle

on Sep 28, 2011 at 8:46 PM

Seriously, it is her fault for not knowing what was in a Happy Meal? Well it is people's fault for eating it everyday and getting FAT! I did not know they took the caramel away from the appples eihter and I would have been MAD. A TREAT. Her kid was getting what she thought was a treat. Wow, what a bunch of haters.

Nonmember comment from Jpizzo

on Sep 28, 2011 at 9:29 PM

Ignore the negativity, we should get what we pay for, I for one am pissed. My daughter is allergic to apples (common birch allergy) and there is no allergy warnings anywhere on the happy meal or menu an there was no notification of included potential allergens. The apples were in a perforated pouch and this cross contamination ruined her lunch. She is not allergic the the rest if the junk in the happy meal (which she did not eat) and should be allowed an occasional treat (due to her allergies she is on a very restrictive diet) without the nanny goverenment at the dinner table.