I always said that if I was a single gal living in the big city Carrie Bradshaw-style, I'd get a huge, scary, barking, biting dog with fangs that made the Grim Reaper's sickle look like a cashmere throw. Because, you know, he'd protect me from rapists and robbers. And in a twist of irony, his name would be Flaco.
Alas, though, my days as a free-wheeling, vodka-swilling, solo gal are long behind me. And that's a good thing. Because I would probably be dead right now. Turns out my expensive attack dog purchase would have been completely for naught. What Single Nicole really should have purchased in her alternate universe was an attack bird.
Beg to differ? Well, why don't you tell that to Jack Dukes' pet macaw, Charlie, who kicked the asses of the two men robbing and beating him. Caw-caw-caw!
It was around 2:35 a.m. in the town of Fort Smith, Arkansas. Jack's doorbell rang, and for some inexplicable reason, he decided to open his door "assuming it was his neighbor." Turns out it was two men looking to rob.
The first thing they did was knock Jack back against a table. Then they started beating him, demanding hydrocodone pills. This didn't sit well with Charlie bird, so he started screaming, then, swoosh, went in for the kill.
According to Dukes, Charlie bit one of the suspects, and then took a chunk out of the man’s arm with his beak. He said that the robber then turned to his partner and said, "Let’s get the hell out of here," and they both headed out the door. Dukes and Charlie are both okay.
So, whodda thought, right? Whodda thought a bird -- that beautiful, majestic, annoying, sort of skeevy little creature -- is actually a miniature crime fighter? Not this girl. My money would've been on Flaco.
Check out the vid.
Do you believe in birds as a form of protection?