The end of Don't Ask Don't Tell this week means the gay service members no longer have to lie to the comrades they depend on to stay alive as they serve our country. But as a courageous video of homosexual Airman Randy Phillips calling his dad in Alabama has shown Americans this week, the DADT repeal means a lot more than that to their families. It means service members can finally be honest with the ones who have loved them from the day they were born: their own parents.
Phillips has been identified as the 21-year-old airman who woke up full of nervous energy on September 20, the day that the 1993 law that allowed gays to serve in the military only if they did not openly acknowledge their sexual orientation was overturned. It wasn't even dawn where he was stationed -- across the Atlantic in Germany -- but he was ready to tell his dad, for the first time, that he was gay.
What an irony that the American military, which carries with it a code of honor and an expectation of integrity and respect for their fellow man, has for so long required people to lie, and to lie to their own moms and dads. It makes talk of how the troops couldn't do it without the support of their families seem like mere lip service. After all, what kind of value are you putting on a parent when you want their child to dissemble to their face.
Phillips' bravery and his father's open armed response offer myriad messages to America about what being gay really is. It's not shameful. It's not a problem. It's not something to hide. And it's not a reason, as Phillips' father says several times over, to change a relationship with someone. A person's admission that they're gay, very simply, does not change who they are -- which is exactly the myth that Don't Ask Don't Tell perpetuated. Servicemen and women were OK one second, a problem the next.
But here, I'll let Randy Phillips show you his face before he comes out and then after show you that he doesn't suddenly become a monster with devil horns and a raging lust for ... anything. The only thing that does change, really, is the weight that you can see lifted off his shoulders (warning, there is some profanity near the end of this video, so kick the kids out of the room, turn it down in an office setting, etc.):
The repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell just gave a family a second chance, a chance to move on honestly, to respect each other and love each other. That sounds a lot more honorable to me than lying.
Image via YouTube
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Comments 22
I'm a bit confuse...first, I don't believe his father didn't know and secondly, if is father is so laid back why didn't he tell him before now and why do it with someone recording the exchange? It it turned out differently and his father freaked out, would we still seen that? It all looks completely staged to me,
Yeah I don't see how telling his father has anything to do with the DADT. Wasn't it a gag order for all military? Not personal friends/family??
A lot of gay servicepeople don't tell their families they're gay, not only because they're afraid of their reaction, but also because they're afraid they'll slip up. My cousin was gay in the military and it became second nature to her to check what she says, who she's seen out and about with, it became easy (in practice) to hide that she was gay from the people she served with. On the flip side, my aunt couldn't keep a secret if she tried. Sometimes hiding it from the family is just another way of protection yourself. If you don't tell your parents, they can never let it slip at the company picnic the families go to. And if you do have a disapproving parent what's to keep them from telling your bosses.
Why do people have to say anything about their sexual orientation? I would love my child no matter what but I would also tell them what they are doing is wrong because that's what parents do.
If any of my children came to me and told me they were gay, I would still love them no matter what sexual orientation they prefer. And as for being gay is wrong? Does God not choose and know how each person will live their life because he is the one who has the ultimate say? People have been gay since the dawn of time and it's not wrong, you are born that way, you don't "become" gay!!!! God chooses how you are!!!!
Ahhhhh, the drama........................................!
Ignorant, homophopic assholes never fail to shock me. Whether or not this was staged this man, who is serving his country with honour, now feels that he can be who he is and be proud of that and announce it to the world. Good for him! And as for telling your child that what they're doing is wrong if they tell you they're gay... what the hell is wrong with you? 100 years ago it was wrong to be black, hitler thought it was wrong to be jewish and now ignorant american idiots think it's wrong to be gay. Well I say screw you. Hooray for gay rights and gay pride!!
personally i was more in awe of his respect for his parents and the respect he showed. Yes sir no sir......not something we see alot of these days. That boy was raised right.