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Here's something you don't read about every day. Earlier this week in Sweden, authorities were called in to help get a drunk moose out of a tree. Not a man dressed in a moose costume mind you, but a real, animal moose. And yeah, he was pretty wasted. After eating one too many fermented apples, the moose was over-served and looking for more. When he tried to get additional apples from the tree, well, if you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: the drunk moose got stuck in the tree. The police were notified of the drunk-treeing incident from concerned neighbors and came to help the moose out his jam. I'm dead serious.
You know, it's one thing if moose want to roam through our neighborhoods, crushing our plants and taking giant poops in our backyards, but it's entirely another that they get bombed and start climbing our beloved trees. It's so disrespectful. You give a moose an inch, he takes a mile.
Boozey mooseys just don't know when is when, apparently. I bet he saw that poor apple tree, and was all, That effing tree's got nothing on me! I'm a moose! I'm king of the jungle! No. Wait. Forest! King of the forest! I'm the baddest mother mooser out here. Where's my apples? Oh, and ANOTHER thing. You know what? Dijjjjuwanna know something? Misses Moose is a real bitch. You know that? Dijjju know that? A real fat bitch. Gimme another apple. I hate you, Apple Tree. I haaate you. I love you I hate you I love you I hate you. Shut up! I can make my tongue look like a taco.
And the rest is drunk-moose-in-a-tree history. The police were able to cut the tree down, thankfully, without harming the drunkard. After the moose sobered up, he was released back into the wild. Hopefully he learned his lesson about eating fermented apples and tree climbing, but you never know. Those moose, man, I tell ya. Total booze hounds.
WATCH The Early Show's story on the drunk moose in a tree:
What's your experience with drunk moose?
Photo via YouTube