Thank Goodness Amy Winehouse Adoption Never Went Through
As if the Amy Winehouse tragedy couldn't get any more tragic, the tortured singer was in the process of adopting a 10 year old girl from the Caribbean island of St. Lucia. She had already gotten permission from the girl's parents, and prior to her death she was planning to return to the island soon to finalize the process. How sad that Winehouse had a longing to be a parent. How sad that this impoverished little girl's hopes and dreams have now evaporated. But is it any sadder than what this girl's future might have held for her if the adoption actually went through and she found herself the child of a mother with a severe addiction? Love is essential but a child needs more than that. The girl was only trading one form of misfortune for another.
The girl, Dannika, is living in severe poverty. Her mother is around but can't afford to take care of her, thus the reason she agreed to the adoption. But more than that, Dannika and Winehouse apparently really hit it off, according to the report in the Mirror. They were inseparable, going for walks on the beach and horseback riding together. They called each other "mum" and "daughter."
Winehouse in asking for permission to adopt apparently told the girl's biological father, who lives in Germany: "Dannika is taking care of me. I couldn’t live without her."
But she couldn't live with her, either, as it turns out. The lure of being a mother was not enough to save her from the grips of her addiction, not surprisingly. Nor is having a child the answer or the solution, the thing that will magically change everything bad in life to good. We know this about relationships and marriage and we know this about dependency.
What kind of mother and role model would Winehouse have been anyway if the adoption had actually gone through and Dannika had moved to London to be with her, as the article states. Things might have been wonderful for her on the "good days," but what about the times when she would walk in and find Winehouse completely blotto? Or read the reports about it? It was bound to happen. There was always the chance the adoption could have taken place months ago ... and that Dannika had been the one to find her last week. To lose a second mother?
I shudder to think of it. I can't believe the parents of the girl weren't aware of her reputation and were so desperate to ensure she got regular meals that they would have agreed to this request, especially when Dannika still has a loving grandmother to take care of her.
Winehouse may have been an amazing mother someday if she had straightened herself out. The fact that she took this child under her wing, forged a solid relationship with her, and had taken steps to legally bring her into her life are all pretty eye-opening revelations about a side of Amy most of the world didn't know. But she still had a long, long way to go before she was qualified to be a mom ... at least on this earth. Here's hoping that Winehouse still finds a way help and guide her "daughter" from a distance.
What do you think would have happened if Winehouse adopted this child?
Image via loimere/Flickr
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