Nicola Yates was 20 years old when she went on the website Genes Reunited, looking for her biological father. She tracked down Andrew Butler, then 40 years old, and the father-daughter got to know one another ... a little too well. It seems that although Butler was in a relationship with another woman (clearly unrelated to him, and closer to his age), he and Yates had a "highly charged, emotional reunion" that evolved into a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship. CRINGE central!
Two years later, they were arrested and admitted to carrying on an "illicit affair," which landed Butler in jail for four months, and Yates had 18 months of community service. But apparently they learned nothing from either sentence, because they started up the affair again and were arrested last September. Now, they're facing jail time for a SECOND TIME. OMG.
Nicola claims that she's over the whole thing and just wants the court case to be over, like ripping off a Band-Aid:
I want to move on with my life. I got in touch with him in the beginning because I wanted a proper father-daughter relationship. I hadn't seen him since I was very little. I don't really know how or why it happened, why things developed the way they did. I can honestly say I will never see him ever, ever again. I don't want to have anything to do with him ever again.
For some reason (maybe because they repeated their offense almost immediately after fulfilling their sentences?), I don't believe her. BUT -- I really hope that the court doesn't send these two to jail. Because that really won't accomplish anything. Clearly, community service and jail time didn't work the first time around.
Yes, incest and the kind of relationship Nicola and her father have carried on (and off) is wrong and makes our skin crawl. But how is it the government's job to intervene? If Andy had forced himself on her, that would be a whole different story. However, it seems, as screwed up as this is, like it was a mutual, consensual relationship. The two of them don't need to be thrown in jail AGAIN. What they need is some damn good psychotherapy!
And if Nicola's really telling the truth about never wanting to start up with Andrew again, that's even more reason for her to get psychiatric support. How's she going to move on and have a normal relationship with a regular guy after this on her own? It seems to me like that will be a challenge for her emotionally and mentally. I guess the same is true for Andy, but I feel like he's the guiltier party here, as the more mature one and the father for crying out loud! He obviously needs psychiatric help for a plethora of reasons.
With hope, these two get the support they need to cope with what they did and then successfully move on ... for good.
What do you think -- is it the government's place to intervene here? Should they go to jail?
Image via The.Comedian/Flickr
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Comments 235
Noreen's right. It's actually fairly common amongst re-united relatives, whether the genetic relationship is known or not. Of course, it doesn't always end up in sexual relations, but many people will later confess to having feelings for the other. In cases where the genetic relationship is unrealized, when a brother and sister, for example, don't know they are related and fall in love, they will have fertility problems and only when seeking help and undergoing genetic testing to determine the cause of their infertility is the genetic relationship discovered. Jail is not going to help anything; they need counselling to help understand the urges and be able to have either break their bond or create a normal father-daughter relationship. When people suffering from GSA do seek help, rehabilitation success rates are very high.
Wierd yeah, but there are a lot of things that are wierd. This is not any business of the police or lawmakers, what good does locking someone in a cage do when they are both consentual? I think eating bread an drinking wine thinking your priest is magical and can turn it into the blood and flesh of your savior so you can eat him is weirder honestly. Or how about draining all the blood and preserving the body so you can place them in a box and stick their corspe somewhere that you can visit? Just a little wierd.
I love the post about crying. Oh this story makes me want to hang my head and weep I am so sad. How pathetic, like a child. Grow up. Jesus!
I don't think they NEED psychotherapy. People need to stay out of other peoples business. Who's to say whether or not these two need therapy? To me, that's judging. I think they are both adults and can make that decision on their own. We, as adults, need to quit worrying about what everyone else is doing and focus on ourselves. I'm not out to save the world. I've got my own problems, I don't need yours.
Holly, how do YOU know the child would be taken care of by the system? No one said they were poor, living off welfare, etc. So quick to jump to conclusions. Also, did anyone say they were having unprotected sex? For all we know they were wearing three condoms, using spermicide and she was on birth control. Quit worrying about what other people are doing in the bedroom. It's really none of our business.
How about sterilization? How is that not an option?