patrick brooksA million dollars? Ten million dollars? Just trying to figure out how much someone would have to pay me to get the phrase "F*CK YOU" tattooed in bold black ink across my forehead. The tat would make my life pretty difficult (I would totally have to kiss my babysitting gigs goodbye), but who knows, maybe there's an upside to tattooing profanity on one's face?

To get the answer, we'd have to ask burglary suspect and 21-year-old Patrick Brooks. He'd be able to tell us all about it. I mean. Check out his mugshot.

Brooks also has teardrop tattoos near his eyes, and if Law & Order: SVU has taught me anything, it's that those tats could be symbols that he's killed three men in prison. NOW I have no idea if that's true or not, and most of my legal, criminal, and justice system knowledge comes from procedural drama re-runs on TNT, but I'm just saying.

Brooks is being held in a California county prison without bail for burglary, forgery, receiving stolen property, and violating parole. Bet the cops caught him because it's not like he can hide. With a memorable tat like that, Brooks will have a hard time blending in anywhere he goes.

I wonder if the tattoo artist had messed up and accidentally written THANK YOU across Brooks' forehead how different his life would be. Actually, that'd be kinda sweet. Instead of verbally expressing your gratitude when someone passes the salt, you just point to your forehead, or when the toll booth guy gives you change, forehead point, or when you rob a bank of all its money and turn to the manager dead on the floor as you're leav ... GAH! Nothing is sacred.

OR!

Maybe we should give Brooks the benefit of the doubt -- is he just a MASSIVE Cee Lo Green fan? Does he love that song A LOT? Maybe? Think his other inmates will just sing that song to him as he falls gently asleep in his cot? If so, I wouldn't mind going to jail. Hmm. Wonder if my fave tune "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes" could fit on my forehead. 

It breaks my heart to look at him -- clearly he has a lot of sadness and rage pulsing through his body. One cheery person doesn't just wake up one morning and decide to tattoo F*CK YOU on one's face (again: unless you're a crazy Cee Lo fan). Wishing him the best.

Thoughts?


Photo via Shasta County Sheriff's Department