Really, there couldn't be a more perfect name for the event that's about to rock Los Angeles drivers (read: all Los Angeles residents) to their cores this weekend: Carmageddon. The 405, one of, if not the main freeways, is going to be closed. And it's going to be a bloodbath.
For those of you who don't live in Los Angeles, or have never visited there, here's all you need to know: The roads are a jam-packed mess. All day. Every day. And no, that's not an exaggeration. I used to have to leave -- literally -- at 9:15 every morning in order to get to work by 10. I lived two and a half miles away. Put that in your pipe.
So, needless to say, I'm thrilled that I don't live there right now. But I still deal with traffic when I visit family and friends on weekends. And it still sucks. Hard. So, here are five ways to stay sane during the worst traffic of your life.
Have a charged phone -- and car charger. Admit it. You love your college roommate to pieces, but just never seem to be in the mood for a phone conversation with her (it's okay, she feels the same way about you). Well, here's your golden moment. Break out the big guns. Call your college roommates, your grandmother, your prescriptions in. It could wind up being the most productive car ride of your life.
Have new music. The only thing worse than being stuck in dead-stopped traffic is hating the music you're trapped with. If you know you're going to experience a bit of the bumper-to-bumper, do yourself a favor and come well-stocked.
For the love of God, make sure your AC is working. True story: Years ago my sister and I decided to go through the "Safari" at the Six Flags near our house the same day the rest of the world did. We were in my Toyota Celica that had a sweet six-CD changer in the trunk chock-full of Nirvana, but no AC. It's too painful an experience to regale, but take my word for it, you want AC.
Have water. But don't drink it. All of it, that is. 'Cause the only thing worse than being thirsty in traffic is having to pee.
Take a deep breath and accept that there isn't a damn thing you can do. This may come as a shock to you, but you can't control the traffic. And, no, God is not out to get you.
What do you do to stay sane during nightmare traffic?
Image via daveynin/Flickr