They're baaack. I'm talking UFOs, people. Martians, aliens, extraterrestrial life forms, things that go beam in the night. Apparently things are a little dull that side of the universe, so they've decided to swing our way once again for a little Chipotle and Real Housewives. And really, how could you blame them?
Not one, but two videos have surfaced of small white disc-like objects hovering over a BBC building and the Tower Bridge in London. The videos are so remarkable that the nayest of naysayers will have trouble coming up with anything else they could possibly be. And speaking of naysayers ...
I don't understand people who don't think aliens exist. Of course they exist. How could anyone think humans are the only beings in all of the universe? The universe is infinite. You better believe there are some silver-suited, bubble-helmeted creatures waiting to probe our asses. Hopefully not literally, though.
I know what skeptics are thinking -- they all say the same thing: "If aliens are really out there, why haven't they contacted us yet?" And to that I say: Would you want to get in touch with us? Look at us! We're a mess. We're overweight, rifle-brandishing drunks who devour neon-colored packaged foods and inject poison into our foreheads. We wear sunglasses bigger than our heads. We've developed pills that allow us to intake as much cholesterol as our hearts desire. We shake our butts to songs about girls' humps. And their lady lumps. Would you want to meet us? We're really a rather unappealing breed. And we only seem to be getting worse.
You know how you used to drive by your ex-boyfriend's house (this is a safe place) and hope to just find his car -- and his car only -- and the flicker of the TV in the window? Well, that's what I think these UFO sightings are every couple years -- "fly-bys." The aliens are just checking in on us, hoping to see that we've improved. But like you seeing Mindy Latman's teal Corolla parked in front of your ex's house, it never ends well for the aliens. Let's just hope they're more evolved than to zoom back to Mars to down a six-pack of Zima, though.
The point is, the aliens are trying to tell us something: We have to better ourselves. And if we don't do it simply because the human race is doomed if we don't, let's at least do it out of fear that our asses might otherwise be probed.
Check out one of the videos:
Do you think aliens exist?
Image via The Mongol/Flickr