When is Michele Bachmann going to stop getting in her own way? Yesterday she was aligning herself with a serial killer. Today, the presidential candidate has received a cease and desist letter from liberal-leaning rocker Tom Petty for trying to adopt his song "American Girl" as the theme of her race to 2012.
Google. Google. Google! It would have saved her from picking a liberal rocker (Petty once told Dubya he couldn't use his music either), but it would also provide her with better alternatives. There's a whole pile of theme songs out there with her name all over them. But since she's had a tough week, what with calling John Quincy Adams a founding father when he was just 9, and that whole serial killer snafu, we'll give her a break. Here's a whole pile of new Michele Bachmann campaign-ready theme songs, all in one place:
"Don't Know Nothing" by Maroon 5 -- To be played as her entrance music when she finally agrees to teenager Amy Myers' American history/civics challenge.
"American Idiot" by Green Day -- Our advice to Michele, listen to the lyrics -- "Don't wanna be an American idiot. One nation controlled by the media." Now, step away from Fox News. Step awaaaaaaay.
"Ignorance" by Paramore -- What was that she said about Lexington and Concord being in New Hampshire? Playing this song will tell the people, "Oh never mind that I don't actually prep for my appearances! Elect me president!"
"Blah, Blah, Blah" by Ke$ha -- Why bother talking when Ke$ha can do it for her?
"For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert -- That's what this whole campaign is, right? Please, just nod that puppet head and tell us that's all it is.
"Loser of the Year" by Simple Plan -- Everyone loves an underdog, right? But Romney remains atop the polls right now. You can breathe out now, America.
What song do you think fits the Bachmann campaign to a T?
Image via markn3tel/Flickr