Quick, think of three-word phrases that fill you with abject horror? John Wayne Gacy, one of the most notorious serial killers ever? Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, one of the most notoriously idiotic presidential candidates ever? Put them both together, and what do you get? A presidential campaign that's fizzling just as it's getting going!
Bachmann, the Minnesota Republican so well known for playing fast and loose with historical facts that she's had an American high schooler challenge her to a public civics test, figured she'd play it really safe when she went home to Waterloo, Iowa to make her official announcement that she's entering the race for the Republican nomination. So comfy, she boasted to Fox News, "just like John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa, that's the kind of spirit that I have, too." Oops! She got the wrong John Wayne.
See, John Wayne, the storied actor, isn't from Waterloo, Iowa. But John Wayne Gacy, aka the Killer Clown, the man who viciously tortured, raped, and murdered more than 30 boys and young men in the Midwest over a 30-year period, well, he lived in Waterloo for a spell! Oh Michele. Don't you Google?
Now, most of us are smart enough to know Bachmann doesn't really think she has the spirit of a serial killer. At least, we hope social workers wouldn't have let her raise those 23 foster kids if she did. But if she can't even get the facts on her hometown right, let's consider what we'd have to deal with if she snuck her way into the White House:
1. "Excuse me, Secret Service Guys? This thing says Missiles Armed, and all I did was touch the green button. It was the red button you said not to touch, right? Oh, it was the green? Well, um, oops. My bad! Bye, bye Iraq!"
2. On meeting German Chancellor Angela Merkel: "I just want to tell you how much I love your country. Your people are so kind, such hard workers. That Hitler guy in particular. He was a real inspiration."
3. "Oh wait, so I had to wait for Congress before I signed a bill into law? That's how it goes? Which founding father wrote that procedure up? John Quincy Adams?"
4. On her first state visit to China, meeting a moms' group: "Hey y'all, I've got 28 kids, come on now, it's time to catch up with me! When are you having another one?"
If you think it's a stretch, check out Bachmann's Gacy gaffe for yourself:
Will the Gacy gaffe finally put the nail in the Bachmann coffin? Will her supporters finally see if she can't bother to prepare herself on facts about her hometown, she isn't prepared to be president?
Image via david_shankbone/Flickr