Gross Old People Get Arrested for Having Sex on Scooter

22

h&r blockI have a question for everyone out there. Do scooters turn you on? What about parking lots in front of H&R Blocks? Anyone feeling hot just thinking about those things? Me neither. All I feel is a sense of panic about helmet hair and my federal tax return. But a Floridian couple would disagree with us ... they just couldn't resist the sexiness of engaging in oral sex, on a scooter, in an H&R Block parking lot, at 7 p.m., in plain view of passersby, on a Tuesday night.

Ew. A family (those poor children) called the cops and the couple was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior and were taken downtown. Dawn Strait and Franklin Rowland explained to the police that they just couldn't help themselves, seeing as Franklin was about to enter detox and this might be their last chance for a little fun.

Teenagers. Am I right? Wait. What? They're not teens? They're how old??? (Mugshots after the jump.)

My weak heart and stomach cannot handle such disgusting imagery. Dawn is 49 years old and Franklin is 46. Well isn't that just about the grossest thing I have learned in a long time. Honestly, they should be booked twice.

Once for a sex act in a public place and again for under the fictitiously appropriate "Really, old people? You should've known better" rule that, fingers crossed, will become law any day now. They should get their punishment doubled. There's no excuse.

florida couple
Franklin Rowland & Dawn Strait

I'm not sure when detox + scooter + H&R Block = blow job, but I could be out of the loop. Maybe Dawn was worried that he'd forget her while he went away to sober up, but I think there was a more appropriate going away present she could've given him. Like oral sex at home. Or stationary.

He'll detox while they spend some time in jail and I hope those two really think about what they've done and hang their heads in shame. But if they're not going to feel remorse, then I at least want them to get creative. Sex on the Beach is just an overrated and outdated cocktail these days. Maybe Dawn and Franklin could market the Oral Sex on a Scooter, or the H&R Blow Job, or Two Ugly Floridians Going At It.

I'm going to go flush out my eyes with bleach to try to erase the mental pictures. This story just doesn't have a happy ending. In fact, it's Franklin's happy ending that led us into this mess.

What do you think of this story?


Photos via socialwoodlands/Flickr and via New Port Richey Police

crime, in the news

22 Comments

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miche... micheledo

Well thanks.  Now I feel ancient.  Aside from this being gross and plain wrong, OLD????  Really???  49 is old???  I thought you were talking about 80 year olds.

zandh... zandhmom2

Really???  49 is old???  I thought you were talking about 80 year olds. Ha Ha me too!

MrsMWF MrsMWF

I obviously don't agree with their actions but 40's is not old nor is it gross to grow older. You sound very immature.

Aislinn Kathleen Mary Bradley

Since when did $0's equal OLD?? (Maybe 100s of years ago when the average person only lived to 40-50) but seriously??

momof... momoftwo0008

I AGREE THAT BEING FOURTYS IS NOT OLD AND IM 32 FOR GOODNESS SAKE BUT FOR THOSE TWO TO HAVE A SEXUAL ACT IN PUBLIC IS NOT NECCESSARY FOR THEM TO DO ESPECIALLY FOR A GOING AWAY PRESENT.  ITS NORMAL TO LOVE BUT NOT NORMAL TO DO IT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN OR OTHERS THATS FRICKING DISGUSTING AND INSULTING AND DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE THEY DO FIND THEMSELVES WALKING THE HALL OF SHAME

ashjo85 ashjo85

So this would have been better if it had been hot 19 year olds? And since when is being in your 40s old!? I'm only 26, and that doesn't even seem old to me. I think the story is irrelevant, but not nearly as much so as your commentary on it.

Lulu_B Lulu_B

I think the point is more "they're that old, they should know better." And I totally agree. It would make more sense for them to be stupid teenagers, but full grown adults should know better.

nonmember avatar Anon

Am I the only person who laughed at that woman's mug shot? "Aint this gonna be a funny one to tell the grandkids!" Ha ha! No, actually I'm a prude, but yeah - at this point, there's not much to do but laugh.

JAFE JAFE

It looks like I'm with everyone else. Your headline SUCKED!!!! The act itself should have gotten them arrested but I think you're way out of line calling these people OLD or GROSS. Just who do you think you are? I'll use my walker and cane to walk away now since I guess I'm old and gross too.

phant... phantomphan

You make it found like it would be wrong even if they did it in private. Grow up.

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