Rikers Island Doesn't Allow Sexy Prison Visitors

Nicole Fabian-Weber
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rikers islandI don't know about you girls, but when I go visit my man at Rikers Island, I want to look gooood. Hair done, nails done, everything did. And you know I'm gonna be wearing my shortest skirt and tightest top. What else would he want to see me in? But now, thanks to the dang Department of Corrections staff, I'll be wearing a hideous long, neon green t-shirt in lieu. Thanks a lot, guys.

In an effort to stifle inmates' ... desires -- and visitors and prisoners from having public sex (yes, really) -- women who show up at the New York City jail looking "too hot" will now be forced to look like idiots instead. And I think it's a really dumb idea.

The green shirts are technically for protection, right? Hot and bothered dudes who can't get any equals ... an array of bad things. So, instead of spending the $5,000 on the 800 t-shirts -- which, side bar, seems like a lot of cash if you've seen these things -- why not use the money for something, like, oh, I don't know, hiring more prison guards? Hey, you know what would be a really good method of deterring women from coming to Rikers Island scantily clad? Turning them away like tons of other prisons do.

But the thing that I find most strange about this new "rule" is that the corrections officers are saying that they hope the new brightly colored t-shirts will reduce the amount of contraband that's smuggled in since the smuggler would have to reach underneath the t-shirt to get whatever she brought in. But ... I thought the t-shirts were meant to cover short, tight clothes. How do you hide stuff in those? If preventing contraband is part of the reason for these shirts, why not make everyone wear them?

Overall, I say this rule is a giant fail. Not only does the whole "smuggling prevention" thing make no sense whatsoever, inmates will notice these neon green-donning women and imagine what naughty thing lies underneath. Yeah, that won't make them hot and bothered at all.

What do you think of this rule?

 

Image via Paul Lowry/Flickr

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