Ex-Wife Tries to Kill New Wife With Deadly Peanut Butter Letter

Sasha Brown-Worsham

Many of us can cop to hating a person so much we have fantasized about ways to make them disappear. When it comes to these thoughts, no one feels them more than those caught up in a custody battle or a battle of the wits with an ex-spouse. One woman in Michigan is accused of sending her ex-husband's new wife a letter dipped in peanut butter. His new wife is deathly allergic to peanut butter.

It's hard to tell whether this ex is a genius mastermind or a complete moron who probably endangered more than just the wife with her little stunt. If she meant to harm her ex's new wife -- she claims she only meant to keep her from reading his mail by dipping it in the peanut butter and marking it as containing peanuts on the envelope -- then it's an incredibly creative way to off someone you hate. On the other hand ... PSYCHO. How many people touched that mail who had allergies themselves? It's not clear whether she mailed it or dropped it off herself, but either way. Bad, bad plan.

Did she really think she wouldn't get caught? Peanut butter smells obvious and she even warned people of the contents!

Typically, when a person is attempting to commit a crime, they also think about the ramifications. Clearly this woman hated her ex's wife enough to not only endanger her, but also endanger anyone else who might come in contact with the oil unknowingly. If the mailman had a peanut allergy? Then what?

A peanut allergy can cause anaphylactic shock, which can be deadly if not treated immediately. Still, the note on the front of the envelope tells me that this situation has more than the paper is saying. Maybe this ex's new wife did insist on opening all correspondence and was making things difficult. 

Clearly she attempted to warn the wife, so my instinct says the peanut smearing psycho isn't actually the psycho. The new wife perhaps shares a bit of the blame. All that said, you don't send a known allergen in the mail if you don't mean it. If she had killed her, it would be manslaughter. Is there attempted manslaughter? Probably not.

But as brilliant as it was in some ways, it was also reckless, wrong, and stupid. Any Agatha Christie fan or lover of CSI has grand ideas on how we might commit the perfect crime. But for most of us, there is a line between scheming a creative plot out of the movies and actually executing it.

This lady needs to watch a lot less Law & Order and spend a lot more time in the yoga studio working on her Zen.

Do you think she meant to?


Image via Retail Mania/Flickr

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