Get out the crepe paper, twist it from one end of the room to the other, and break out your party hat. Mitt Romney is officially running for President of the United States. Yaaaay. The former governor of Massachusetts announced his second bid for office Thursday in New Hampshire at a hot dog and chili cookout.
Will he do better in 2012 than he did in 2008? You bet. Is it because Barack Obama and his jank promise of economic recovery have "failed America"? Nope. It's because Mitt Romney has strategically divulged that he is, in fact, a Twi-hard (a fan of the Twilight book series, in case you live under a rock).
In an interview with Today, Romney copped to reading the vampire novels that are responsible for Robert Pattinson's film career. Or, as my friend calls them, "two-hour 'The Cure' videos."
Better pick up a copy of Tiger Beat, 2012 candidates, Mitt Romney just brought out the big guns.
See, it's not just tweens that will fight to the death over Team Jacob vs. Team Edward. People 18 and up take the vampires seriously, as well. And if you prove yourself to be "part of their club," well, you've got yourself their vote.
But fret not, other candidates. Twi-hards aren't the only rabid fans. There are plenty of books, movies, and TV shows you can associate yourselves with to win votes. Let's decide what some of the other politician's platforms should be. This is going to be fun.
Sarah Palin, Gossip Girl. Sarah can start signing off of all interviews with "XOXO, Sarah Palin" as a nod to the show. And her minx-y little wink will go perfectly with it. It's a good time to jump on this bandwagon, Sarah, as Blake Lively is in all sorts of hot water lately. This means she's Googled. You want your name to appear when people Google.
Barack Obama, Star Wars. Sure, it's geeky and not exactly current, but dude, nobody -- nobody -- is more fanatical than Star Wars fans. Except maybe Star Trek fans. But I think if you did a Venn diagram, you'd see that there's a big overlap, so it's really neither here nor there.
Tim Pawlenty, Wes Anderson. T-Paaaaw! Since T-Paw's been marketing himself as such a modern dude -- who loves making YouTube videos -- why not go a little off the beaten track (but not too off), and say he's a fan of The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore director. (Helpful hint: When talking to fans/voters, make sure you say your favorite movie is Bottle Rocket. You liked him before anyone else did.)
Michele Bachmann, Family Radio. Hey, she thinks the world is ending. So does/did Harold Camping. Samesies. Family Radio may not have the following they once did because of that little ... snafu, but they still can pack a scarily big punch.
What other non-political things can some of the candidates latch on to? Come on, it's fun!
Image via nmfbihop/Flickr