10 Funniest Yelp Reviews of Kansas' Abortionplex

Kim Conte
23

yelp logoThere's absolutely nothing at all funny about abortion except, of course, when we're talking about the The Onion's fake $8 billion Kansas Abortionplex. And then it's hilarious.

If you need a little background, The Onion is a satirical publication that reported last month about a fake -- I repeat, FAKE -- sprawling mall-like Planned Parenthood abortion facility in Kansas. It was meant to be a joke (as most Onion articles are); however, many gullible people who read the article thought it was real and reacted (accordingly) in horror.

Yelp users are now mocking the gullible readers by writing almost 200 fake reviews of the -- I repeat, FAKE -- Abortionplex. Here are some of the funniest ones:

1. From Cobb S.: "My girlfriend and I enjoyed our experience here so much, we returned with our dog Fluffy after she had a night out with some mixed-breed mutt."

2. From Josh W.: "Free valet service and shoe shine for the would-be fathers is a nice touch you just don't get at regular abortion clinics anymore."

3. From Vikki T.: "Even though abortion services are well over 90 percent of what Abortionplex does, I love how they also provide quality indoctrinations into atheism, feminism, and voting Democratic.  Thumbs up!"

4. From Brian B: "Finally, a place to meet girls where I don't have to ask myself whether or not they put out! ...Thank you, Abortionplex!"

5. From Andy B: "I hate this place. It's like an Abortion-themed Disneyland in summertime: LINES! EVERYWHERE!  Lines to park your car, lines to get into the door, lines to go to the bathroom, lines to use the hand sanitizer station ... I stood in line for 2 HOURS to ride the Umbilicoaster and when I'm almost at the front, IT BREAKS DOWN!"

6. From Parker: "Pros: Free wi-fi with purchase of the chef's special frittata.
Complimentary spare tire when you mention Rep. Pete DeGraaf."

7. From Amy M.: "Ever since the Abortionplex got that great write-up in The Onion, it's been really crowded. I went to the there last weekend and the lines were definitely longer than I remembered -- I would recommend going during the week if you want a more soothing experience."

8. From Antonia: "My Walgreen's abortion was better."

9. From Steve D.: "Pros: Build-your-own sundae bar helped reduce the always awkward post-abortion chit chat. Cons: $10 co-pay ... why can't the taxpayers cover the whole tab?"

10. From Gus M: "I blame Obama for this. I know he likes abortion, and I expect he encourages his daughters to get pregnant so they can go to a place like the Abortionplex."

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