Are Jellyfish on Florida Beaches Apocolyptic or Just Annoying?

Sasha Brown-Worsham
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It was not a very happy start to summer for the nearly 400 people in Florida who were stung by jelly fish over the holiday weekend, which begs the question: Are jellyfish a sign of the coming apocalypse, too?

In the beginning of the year, we had dead birds and fish, then we had horrible, sometime tragic weather and now, just in time for what should be the happiest season, we have thousands of jellyfish in Cocoa Beach. The mauve stingers washed ashore from the Atlantic, primarily around Cocoa Beach and can still actively sting even when they are already dead.

Awesome. So, OK, jellyfish were not mentioned in the bible (or by the Mayans) to my knowledge and if there were going to be a horrific plague that would scare me straight, jellyfish would rank pretty low.

But if these purple, amorphous swimmers of pain DO indicate the coming end of the world (rather than just a beach annoyance), I have to assume we have moved past locusts in terms of what annoys us in this modern age.

In my own home, I am currently dealing with a rodent problem in the basement and when the rodents die, they bring flies, so I feel I am well-equipped to talk plague and end of the world scenarios because I am currently living it at home.

It makes sense, of course, that these things would start slow. First jellyfish, which are only a mild annoyance to those who want to use the beach in a very specific spot. Then it will get worse. So what could be next? Bees? Black flies? Scorpions? Spiders (shudder)?

The day my home is overrun with spiders, I will surrender. Give it all up. Let the plague get me! Although, I will say that as far as plagues go, jellyfish are pretty weak. Just don't go into the water, after all. Avoid the beaches.

Back in the day, locusts would have eaten all the trees and destroyed our livelihoods. Jellyfish just ruin our beach days. Still, if this is a sign of things to come, the next 18 months leading up to the big day on December 21, 2012 should be a whole lot of fun.

And by the way, I am kidding (mostly). If you are stung by a jellyfish in water you knew was infested, well then you were kind of asking for it. However, if you apply some benadryl and vinegar, you will live to fight another day.

The locusts are going to be WAY more annoying. Promise.

Do jellyfish scare you?


Image via Neil Barman/Flickr

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