Sarah Palin's Bus Tour Won't Make Her a Rock Star Candidate

Maressa Brown

sarah palin one nation tourWhat do Sarah Palin and Lady Gaga have in common? They're both on promotional tours. Beginning this Sunday, Sarah's hitting the road in a bus that's painted with images of mountains and the U.S. constitution, heading out on her "One Nation Tour" of historical sites stretching from Washington, D.C. to New England. She claims it's just part of her "new campaign to educate and energize Americans about our nation's founding principles, in order to promote the Fundamental Restoration of America."

Why that requires capital letters is beyond me, and how Sarah Palin is going to educate anyone is also a wonder. This is not a woman capable of teaching anything -- especially about the founding of this country (which she has proven she lacks basic knowledge of). But I do give her credit for one thing. She knows how to entertain, manipulate, and distract some Americans. Maybe that's what she means by "energize"? (You know how she tends to get confused by the exact definitions of words.)

More than anything though, she seems to have a knack for keeping us guessing. I mean, look at us right now. Websites, newspapers, cable news all biting their nails, speculating if she's going to run. Whether you love her or hate her, a few of her recent plays (the tour, a move to Arizona, her "movie," etc.) have us all on the edge of our seats, playing a guessing game of "Will she or won't she?" It's as if we're preparing ourselves to jump up and scream for joy or bloody murder. And in that sense, she's got us wrapped around her little finger.

But that's where her "power" ends. Smoke, mirrors, and the art of bullsh*tting can only get you so far. Like everything else about Palin, there's no substance behind the show biz. And I'd like to think that once she actually has to prove (yet again) that she's a true leader, her 15-minute magic act will FINALLY be over. Because the thing is ... she doesn't actually have any tricks (aka credentials) up her sleeve. She's just a blabbermouth with a Twitter account and a reality show that she seems to think is filming 24/7/365.

I have faith that sooner rather than later, Sarah Palin will get it through her thick skull that she is not a capable presidential candidate, nor a celebrity America wants or needs to see on big screens, little screens, and tour buses a la Lady Gaga. Although, while she may not have Little Monsters as fans, anyone brainwashed enough to buy her shtick is pretty scary.

What do you make of Sarah's "One Nation" tour?


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