
Taken Too SoonI cannot imagine how it feels to lose a child. It must be so devastating and heartbreaking to feel the life inside you growing only to lose that fluttering, fragile life far too soon.
Heather Werth, a Cincinnati mother, lost her preemie newborn son Joey at Good Samaritan hospital after 16 days of life and has now taken legal action.
She isn't suing because of malpractice or medical mistakes. She is suing the Ohio hospital after photos of her dead infant were mailed to her. More than 150 photos of her posed baby, taken after his death, were sent to this grieving mother.
Werth maintains she informed the hospital multiple times she didn't want any photos after Joey's death. For Werner, the fact that they posed her infant goes against her wishes and dishonors his body. She, with her lawyer, has charged the hospital with desecrating a corpse.
Apparently, it's common for a bereavement team to snap some pictures to console a grieving family -- mementos of their lost child. However, everyone grieves differently and everyone's grief is different.
Werner maintains she made her wishes very clear and those wishes were ignored, and said of the photos:
He was treated like a doll. He was flipped, and he was flopped. He was dressed, and he was undressed. He was wrapped in a blanket. He was posed. He was laying on his belly. He was laying on his back.
In all, she was sent 154 photos in 20 poses. Worse for her, the photos were taken and developed at a local Walgreens, allowing access to the sensitive images to folks beyond the hospital staff. And to send them in the MAIL?
For sure, this was a huge gaffe. Maybe there was an overzealous bereavement counselor who thought she knew better than Werner, but is this really worthy of a lawsuit?
I am torn.
I find it horrifying that this mother, who had plenty of pictures of her child alive in the happier two weeks before his death, was tortured with unexpected and unwanted images of her dead child. I am doubly horrified that these photos, taken against a grieving mother's wishes, were sent BY MAIL, without care taken to ensure she had some support around her on first seeing them.
I am certain these images haunt her and are NOT how she wants to remember her baby.
I also cringe at the thought that a dead baby was posed in such a manner. Then again, I cringed at the family members who took pictures of my grandmother in her casket at her funeral. For me, photos and memories of my beloved grandmother while she was alive are the only ones I would ever want to see or remember. However, everyone grieves differently.
At the same time, I can see how a common practice of taking pictures of babies who die at birth might be a small comfort for parents who might not otherwise have pictures to remember their child. While researching this practice, I saw several stories of mothers who lost children who stated that while they insisted they didn't want pictures of their child at the time, they had nurses and grief counselors insist ... and now they cherish these photos as invaluable physical mementos of their child.
There are different ways of looking at this story. Some may say this mother is greedy and looking to blame someone for her child's death. Others may believe this was an egregious violation of her child's body and her family's privacy, which is worthy of a lawsuit.
Does this justify a lawsuit or a simple apology for insensitivity? Does she just need to deal with her loss -- not what some call an insensitive lawyer exploiting her loss on Dr. Drew? Where do you stand?
image via by sabianmaggy/Flickr


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Comments 354
Sometimes in greif we don't make good choices. I feel for this mother. I had a very premature stillborn. For me a picture was helpful in grieving. I had no other live memories or photos. Yes they pose the babies, wrap and unwrap them and even dress them. For some mothers this is all they get if their little ones never got the chance to live or lived for such a shor time that not pictures were taken.
The pictures are fairly standard and most do want them so I can see how a mix up may have happened and the clear message of no may not have made it to the right person. it doesn't excse the mistake but I can understand it. That said to have these developed outside thehospital and then sent in the regular mail where they could have easily been misdelivered or lost is just inexcusable, tacky, in bad taste, poor judgement and shows a complete lack of respect for the grieving family.
I don't think this is lawsuit worthy but a mother greiving and grasping at straws very well could see it that way. The hospital definately needs to offer an appology, revamp it's policies on this so they don't get developed by strangers and sent through the mail and they need to offer as much counciling or the mother chosing to help her cope with a tragity that they probably made much harder for her to deal with.
This is so sad. I cannot imagine the loss this mother has experienced. However, I think the hospital (or whomever was responsible for this) handled it poorly. Over 150 is an absurd number of pictures, and they certainly should not have been mailed to the mother.
However, I cannot see how a lawsuit will help anything, it seems like it will just make a bad situation worse. The mother should have a conversation with the hospital, but grieve as she feels is appropriate, and then move on in the best way she can. I'm sure someone thought they were doing the kind thing for her, and/or feels very guilty right now.
and score one for the absolute lack of tact shown by the hospital. It really isn't uncommon for photos to be taken of still-borns or babies who die without leaving the hospital, but generally, they have a grief councelor that discusses it with the parents and at hospitals i've worked for, it was practice to put the photos in the medical records if the families weren't ready for them. since medical records arenot destroyed, the parents have the opportunity to come later and get the photos.
The thing is, if she wins...then they'll be cautious next time, and some other woman who really WANTED pictures of her child will end up without them....and they'll sue as well.
I don't really have anything else to add...I'm in the middle on this one.