Judgment Day Prophet Harold Camping Finally Making Sense

Jeanne Sager
23

judgment dayYou've got to hand it to Doomsday Prophet Harold Camping. When life hands him lemons, the Family Radio founder whips up a sweet pot of lemonade for his loony listeners to lap up. They weren't raptured on Judgment Day, but they still can be!

The REAL Rapture is coming October 21, Camping says. And yeah, so he was wrong once (twice?) before, but what matters now is we have an end date with some scientific proof behind it. Let's take a look at the reasons the 21st of October looks like a good bet for the end of the world:

1. Kim Kardashian will turn 31 on October 21. And you thought the lady was stressed when she hit the big 3-0? Consider her charging past it and still without some ring on her finger. Heads will roll. Ba-donka-donks will bang into things. Her tears will drown Los Angeles.

2. It's the International Day of the Nacho. What better way to go out than after a meal of sodium, carbs, and cholesterol? Who needs a global earthquake when our arteries slamming shut will do the job nicely?

3. It marks 132 years since Thomas Edison invented a workable electric light. And people didn't just use sex to make babies anymore ... they could actually see each other and enjoy it, marking the end of good family values FOREVER.

4. Cars 2 won't hit theaters until this summer. Camping looked at a lot of factors, but he missed one glaring issue. As Disney goes, so goes much of the world. And they weren't sinking gazillions into a summer blockbuster that kids wouldn't actually get to see! May 21 wasn't happening. But by October, kids will be full up on movie memorabilia. They'll be good to go meet their makers, a Mater plushie in tow. 

5. Oprah's final show airs THIS week. Did he really think Oprah fans would leave the Earth before they got their last look at their hero?

6. Lady Gaga's album dropped yesterday. I don't know about you, but I was sticking around for that 99-cent deal from Amazon.

7. Sade hasn't toured in over a decade. And she's back out singing this summer. After you've heard "Smooth Operator" in person, THEN you can die. Not before.

8. Glee finale is tonight. Did he really think Gleeks would go quietly into that good night without hearing Rachel Berry's newest rendition of a song from Wicked?

Thank goodness for second chances. Camping may be on to something this time! Are you ready?

 

Image via WarmSleepy/Flickr

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