End of the World Zombies Coming According to the CDC

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zombieAs if we didn't have enough to worry about with Harold Camping and Family Radio scaring us with talk about The Rapture and the end of the world on May 21, now there's something new to freak out about.

No earthquakes this time on Judgment Day, but instead the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is warning Americans of an imminent zombie apocalypse and telling them how to prepare for such an emergency.

This is direct from the CDC blog post (which crashed when too many people tried to access this important information):

There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example ... You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.

Eek! Zombies are much more terrifying than earthquakes!

The people most likely to survive a zombie attack are, of course, those who follow the CDC Zombie Preparedness Plan (which, incidentally, is exactly the same as its preparedness plan for other disasters like hurricanes and tornadoes*). It includes stocking up on food and water and first-aid supplies, as well as figuring out "where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step."

Of course, the CDC assures us that it is prepared as well:

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak ... CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

Zombie infestation?! I don't know about you, but I'm certainly not breathing more easily with this information.

Zombie attack or The Rapture? Either way it's clear: We're all about to die.

*The Zombie Preparedness Plan was actually a clever ruse the CDC used to get people to heed its advice on how to prepare for real emergencies like hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc. As far as we know, there is no imminent zombie attack.

 

Image via Bob Jagendorf/Flickr

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tgiamt tgiamt

Screw all that I'm hanging out on the roof with a high powered rifle!

darkp... darkpoetess

Ill be prepared lmao 

STRAW... STRAWBERRYRAIN

well i took the facebook quiz and it said i would survive a zombie attack....... so i'm all good

Melissa Schiffman

LOL @ Strawberryrain. I guess we all better watch Zombieland and day of the dead and such movies again.

meatb... meatball77

Brains . . . . Brains. . . . . Brains. . . . .

MrsHuitz MrsHuitz

The zombie apocalypse is more believeable than May 21st.

LKRachel LKRachel

What a clever way to get people to be prepared for disaster! Especially w all the tornados, floods, and earthquakes going on. Funny and clever CDC!

.Momm... .MommieAJ.

HA! This is awesome. Even if there were zombies..my Family and I are prepared. lol.

nonmember avatar Amy331

HAROLD CAMPING IS NOT A CHRISTIAN!

No True Christian would follow this man. He is an arrogant Old fool who believes his own Bible translations.

His followers are the worst, they trust “HAROLD CAMPING INTERPRETATION OF THE BIBLE…NOT THE BIBLE!

Harold Camping is a horrible Bible teacher. HERE IS HOW HE FOOLS YOU
SEE
HIS LINK TO JIM JONES CULT

http://haroldcamping-21.blogspot.com/2011/05/how-ex-bible-teacher-became-cult-leader.html

Kat.M. Kat.M.

This sounds fishy..... What if there IS a zombie apocalypse coming? It's very possible since scientists are messing around with genes

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