touristWhen I travel, I try my hardest to blend in. Like, when I'm in Paris, I'm sure to don a beret and scarf; or if I'm in Italy, I grow a mustache. Tee-hee.

No, I want to be respectful of another country's practices. I try to learn a few words and phrases, and I don't get piss drunk until I'm back at my hotel and the only person who has to deal with me is my husband.

I'm not trying be all "I'm awesome" or anything, but I kind of thought my behavior wasn't the norm. I've seen my share of Americans in foreign countries being downright rude -- refusing to attempt the language or demanding bread and water at their cafe table. We have all heard the phrase "Ugly American" before, and unfortunately, it's not without cause.

However, according to a poll, turns out Americans aren't the rudest travelers. The Brits are! Part of me is relieved to hear this, but the American in me can't help but think, "Why did we lose?"

The poll, which was conducted by the travel site Sky Scanner, was actually answered by the British. At least we can't say they're full of themselves.

They rank themselves first in the following four categories:

  • Not attempting the language
  • Being drunk and disorderly
  • Not trying the local cuisine
  • Not tipping

The fifth and final category, "Being rude," was nabbed by the Russians.

What the hell, you guys? Not one first place for Americans in this poll? Sure, we got second in "Not attempting the language" and "Being drunk and disorderly," but you know what we here in the U.S. say about second place? It's the first loser.

Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I, single-handedly, with all my "merci beaucoup" and "dov'e il bango?" made America lose this battle of the bad manners. I'm sorry. I thought my desire to be polite and well-liked would trump my inherent American desire to place first in a contest, no matter what kind and no matter what cost. Alas, I must accept defeat and try harder for the number one slot next year. Paris, prepare to see me hammered in your streets when I visit you this August. And don't expect any tips. Au revoir Later, good manners!

What do you think of the British ranking number one in rude tourists?

 

Image via Ktoine/Flickr